A Fashion Confession

I've come to a realization. When it comes to talking fashion among a fashion community, I've felt like I've no longer feel welcomed or belong in any fashion community. For at least four years, I've been part of an online community focused on fashion. I thought I knew everything (or as much as I could) on fashion to feel like I belong. But... I was kidding myself when I've tried to fit in. I do have an eye for fashion, but never felt truly liked.

Yes, I've had a vicious dislike on a number of looks. The least of which include:
* pepe-toe boots
* skulls (I just don't wear or like skulls)
* the '80s in general (including fashion)
* jeans tucked into boots (as a look, not as anything functional)
* leggings (don't hate them, just burned out on them)

As is the case for most things I try to prove my worth in, people have consistently disagreed with me. Any environment where I don't feel welcomed or respected are environments I want to stay away from. I feel absolutely terrible at one point to where I have to break away from this community. My likes in fashion have been much different from most others. But to be perfectly honest... I like fashion, and I'm different in my likes. However, I'm TOO different to most people to where I'm disliked and unpopular. Just because I don't like peep-toe boots or gladiator sandals while most of the rest of the world does doesn't mean I'm not qualified to talk fashion. I've had problems in which I disliked seeing Arctic boots tucked into jeans when it's not even bitterly cold. But when I complain of this, I get hated on. Like I HAVE to agree with everyone, or I'll pay the consequences. Mostly in the form of getting lynched on. I still try to do my best, but I can't keep a straight face even if my life depended on it. So I feel like I've overstayed my welcome and become demoralized to absolutely nothing... a feeling I'm so used to in my life.




So I will try to stay away from any serious fashion discussions. I am not qualified to talk fashion anymore. Don't ask me about how to wear something or what the "hottest" trend or style is. I don't want to stay away from this too long, though. What I may start doing is showing like or dislike of certain looks. I won't be doing any more (or not frequently doing) fashion-themed videos. At least when I do and say things, the only restriction I have is myself. So I'm almost doing everything with reckless abandon. But I'm not a tough guy. I don't make a living bullying on people. I certainly don't make a living trolling people.

That concludes this post. Now you know how I feel on this deal.



A Quick Disclaimer
I'm now adding links to items on Amazon that I like for items I discuss. As an Amazon Associate, I earn commission based on products I feature or mention in my blog. You are more than welcome to check out all that I have to discuss in all of my blog entries.

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Looking Ahead: Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000

NOTE: This blog post may soon be deleted and replaced with a new one. So enjoy what you read here, because it may be gone in the near future.

Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000

Here's how my YouTube career began. In September of last year days after getting power back to my house after Hurricane Ike, wireless broadband was set up in my house. With broadband, it was my chance to try to visit YouTube more often. On November 8, 2008; I joined YouTube. A week later, I made my first video. The webcam I used was a Creative Live! webcam, making 320 x 200 size videos. The quality was so-so, because I was not confident in making better-quality videos.

Then a few days before my birthday in January, with a lot of money, I was looking to make the next step by purchasing a new webcam. Until I got to become more confident making and releasing 640 x 480 videos, I stayed with 320 x 200. Afterwards, I tried mounting my webcam in a different position. I even sampled different things and different settings. I later became a bit more confident making High Quality videos without sacrificing too much space on my computer. I was able to find a setting with Windows Movie Maker which allows me to compress the raw video from a recording session I have with Logitech's webcam software, and compress the file by at least 29% of the raw video's size. For example, a 98 MB video can be compressed down to about 30-something or even 40 MB. All without sacrificing too much space on my PC. I've made as many as 20+ different videos on YouTube, maybe three or more High Quality-enabled videos on Facebook, and perhaps one on Myspace.

Now that you know my story on YouTube, let me get to the main point of this blog entry.

--- Looking Ahead: The Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000 ---

The Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000 is THIS:





Since becoming a bit more serious about making YouTube videos, I've had one item I think would help me to making better-quality videos. That item is the Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000. Why this webcam? The reason is because I want to look my best. I want great-looking video quality. I feel that even though my videos are high quality content-wise, I want to look my best visually. I can only do so much with the QuickCam Communicate MP that I currently own and use. If I am to go to the next level, it's with making high-quality webcam images. I don't need all the avatars and other visual effects. I just want to make myself look great. I even want to make better-quality photos for when I'm not making videos. This webcam has Carl Zeiss optics, auto-focus, and more. This can help myself look better while speaking my mind. I may be able to debut in real HD and even with Widescreen.

It's something I'm looking forward to for when I truly get to go to the next level. If/When I get this webcam, I feel my appeal will be improved. I will still make videos with the amount of skill that I can provide. Just that I feel I'll be at my best at home with this new webcam.

--- In Case You Ask... ---

The next level after that would be better video editing software, but more importantly, get a digital camcorder and do some out-the-house videos. I feel that if I can do a lot more interesting videos, whether by effects or by doing more home and out-of-home videos, I can step myself up to a better level. I'm taking my time in all of this. I'm not ready to go to the next level until I'm READY to go to the next level. I am not rushing anything.





Thank you for reading! Now you know what I'm up to recently. Comment away! Thank you for reading!

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Social Networking: Things I Don't Understand

I am compelled that I'm dropped by people. Now it's natural that friends get dropped from friend lists, but I really wonder how exactly this all works. My social networking escapades began with Hi5 followed by a brief time on Friendster. Since late July 2005, I've been on Myspace. Then came Facebook. Despite my lengthy experience, there are still a number of things that scare me, concern me, upset me, anger me, and confound me about social networking from all of the experiences I've endured. Using these experiences, I'll create this blog entry to express my points the best way I can.

NOTE: Composing all of this was not easy as I had fears that I'd lose more friends of mine online, only adding to my depression and loneliness. None of what I state in this blog entry was mentioned with an extreme degree of confidence or any extreme degree of consequence. So please be fair in assessing this blog entry.





--- Beliefs and Opinions ---
This section pertains to things I've kind of learned being online and how I would respond to items in question.

BELIEF: "Not keeping constant contact means we're not friends anymore."
This is kind of a pop culture thing I don't really understand. It sometimes seems like depending upon the person, I become a bit unsure as to what qualifies as constant contact. And I don't want to lose a friend online just because I'm not in constant contact with someone. I think some people feel that not consistently chatting with others results in losing a friend online. I don't constantly text people, so it's not like I keep up with others via cellular phone.

I try to make every possible effort to chat every now and then. Trouble is, I don't know what qualifies as constant contact. And I don't want to say, "I just came along to say hello" between weeks and months. The thing I hate most about this? It's that somehow not making constant contact and such means we're no longer friends. I'm still glad we're friends. I don't try to make friends just to be popular. I do this because I cared so much to even send out a Friend Request in hopes that we can chat and be online friends.


BELIEF: "Just because we're friends away from the computer doesn't mean we're friends on the computer."
The thing I've believed in is that such networks exist to try to bring friends together. I feel my reputation with others get damaged as I try to find as many old friends and people I've once known. Then, when I try to re-connect with past people, it only makes a bond worse. It comes down to a "I thought we were friends" deal. Having experienced depression and loneliness, the last thing I want to feel is to feel like I have nobody in my life besides God and my family.

Many times, I feel like it's hard to make friends... but too easy to lose friends. I don't have to do too much to ruin or jeaprodize a friendly bond. Especially with people whom I thought I had a good bond with, I've easily lost respect among people I've once known. I do a lot of dumb things at times. And just giving me the silent treatment or failing to acknowledge me only makes things worse. I sometimes say kind things, with no kind of underlining that just saying something kind and respectful ends up working AGAINST me. When I feel I've ruined a bond shared with someone else, it always seems my fault because I am always a magnet for failure and shortcomings, and hardly ever is it that someone else's feelings and actions have ruined a friendly bond I thought I had with someone. When losing someone online, if I know him/her in person, the trickle-down effect is simple- I treat someone a friend, I get the cold shoulder in return, and I go back to feeling like I have nothing positive to live for. NOBODY wins. There are still times where I feel I could have established a better bond with people so that I never feel so alone and disliked. I've already experienced what it's like when people who you love like family end up leaving you. There are still a number of old friends who have dropped me as a friend and want nothing to do with me anymore. Even when I've been disregarded as a friend, I still honor people who don't like me anymore because something inside tells me that they are still great people even if I am seen more as a nuisance than a friend.


BELIEF: "Because you're not on this service often, why should I bother keeping you as a friend?"
I admit that I've been more active on Facebook and having some better days on Facebook. However, I still call Myspace home. Just because I'm away from *home* doens't mean that I no longer care about anyone on Myspace. It just means that I'm not as online often. I still love and care about people on both Myspace and Facebook (and even YouTube) even if I'm not on all the time. Some people just really think that I have to make constant contact with ALL of my friends (which is harder on Myspace since I have so many friends). Worse than this, I have friends that I know only on Myspace or Facebook. So if I lose them on either service, I may never connect with them again.


BELIEF: "Just because you won't play (this game) with me online or respond to chain letters, we can't be friends anymore.
I don't play FarmVille or Mafia Wars or anything online. Not because I haven't tried it, but because I just don't do that sort of thing. I don't do chain letters at all. I don't know/care what happens if I don't send a message to others. I CERTAINLY don't take part in anything that's full of spam. I am NOT going to complete some misleading task just to help somebody get an XBOX 360 Elite. I just think and do things a bit differently.


BELIEF: "You hate what I love! I thought we were friends..."
I am not a rock music fanatic. I'm sick of and hate the '80s while most others gladly brown nose this overrated decade. I don't wear anything with skulls or mean messages. I hate open-toe boots while most fashionable types love these. While friends, we all have things that make us different. It's almost as if to some people, people look beyond me being a good person and only hate me for what I like or (especially) dislike. I sometimes feel this is why I can never get along with people sometimes. I'm different, but too different to be worth anyone's time. Almost as if I far overstep my boundaries on a number of things.





--- Other Things I'm Unsure/Scared/Upset Of in Social Networking ---

Missing Friends. When you have a lot of friends, as I do on Myspace, it becomes to realize who all are gone. I think the only acceptable reason as to why a friend is gone is because he/she/they cancelled an account or started a new one. Believe me when I tell you this... I become scared when I don't chat with someone in a long while. For most people, this can range from a few days to weeks and months and even years. I don't want to keep saying something along the lines of "I just came along to say hello" all the time regularly.

And as far as making friends is concerned, I don't try to make friends to become popular. It's to show respect to people. I want to be friends because I want to meet new people and communicate with people. Sometimes, I think I'm friends and still friends with someone... only to find out that he/she/they is/are missing from my friends list. Some friends even add me again. The feeling I dislike is trying to re-add people as friends, only to be dropped again from that person, then never be able to be added by that person again. That's when I start feeling like I could have done more and done better things to maintain a friendship online.

Sometimes, even... people whom have dropped me request me again to be friends. I gladly accept past friends who want to re-connect with me online. But if I try to re-connect with friends, it becomes a harder task.


Disconnect in Communication. As much as I get dropped for not making constant contact to others, I begin to feel terrible when I don't get any sort of communication in return. It is almost as if I become concerned if people don't chat with me. With certain friends, I try to check to see if certain online friends of mine are still friends with me because there are people whom I hate to lose. Most of which are people whom I really respect and honor as friends and as amazing people. When you give and don't get much back in return, these are the making of sad circumstances. I look at if I'm unable to post comments online about a profile or photos and videos. When I'm disabled from making comments, it can really mean that I have been disregarded.

The thing I keep in mind is that not everyone checks their profiles online all the time. Having dealt with making and losing friends and knowing WHY I've lost them can make a great difference. I've committed too many sins with friends, even if by accident. All I ask if I'm a guilty party is to be vindicated of my guilt.





--- What Scares Me About Social Networking ---
The thing that scares me most is that I tend to make a parallel between being friends with someone in person, then try to connect with them over the Internet and all the while, trying to maintain a friendship both in an online medium and in the medium of real life. Wherever there's a disconnect, I feel like I've lost someone's trust. I hate losing someone's trust when I feel I haven't done anything seriously wrong. Maybe I say something that's meant to be a compliment, and I get dropped. It's why I (for example) avoid using the word "sexy" to describe a female's looks. And if I don't use that word when someone is very visually appealing, I still feel I'm liable for dislike. It's just the feeling that I'm liable to be dropped from friend lists for my actions, be intentional or unintentional.

But for almost everything in my life, I've been a liability. Very few people believe in me or have patience in me to where I actually feel humbled and welcomed.





All of these things I've expressed are true. Would I ever lie about something I've passionately spoken of? These are just a number of things I don't understand about people and social networking. I may never understand things fully, but I don't want to ruin any kind of trusts or bonds. Especially not countless bonds and trusts from people the world over.

On this personal bombshell, I bid you farewell.

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Should Tourist Trophy Have a Sequel?

Depending upon who you ask, Tourist Trophy is either the best modern motorcycle racing game, or a glorified GT4 mod featuring motorcycles. Tourist Trophy is a game that combines racing street bikes and competition bikes in one game. Execution may vary, but this is still a very good game from the makers of the Gran Turismo series. Some people think Tourist Trophy was a failed experiment. I beg to differ, as you're about to see in this blog entry.





--- WHY Should Tourist Trophy Have a Sequel? ---
While others just don't want to try anything new and don't want to envision a better game, Tourist Trophy (to me) is a game of good execution, but can be much better. A number of things gives this game the level of challenge that it has. The least of which includes:

* rolling starts rather than standing starts
* Challenge Mode to access certain bikes
* tough races

Why should there be a sequel? The main reason why is because there isn't really any other good current motorcycle racing game with street and racing bikes. If any company is willing to enhance the experience, it's Polyphony Digital. I hate for PD to think this is a failed experiment to try to make a good motorcycle racing game in addition to the storied Gran Turismo series. It's like something I tell myself- don't always focus on the negatives people give you. Instead, try to focus on the positives. So let's look at some positives with a speculative view.


--- What Would Tourist Trophy Have for the PS3? ---
There would be a number of elements, including...

* Possibly well over 4 bikes to a track. I am not sure what is considered a decent number of bikes to a track, but anywhere in the range of 16 to 24 is acceptable.

* Standing starts. Imagine being lined up on the grid and getting up to speed while making a mad wheelie preparing for the madness a superbike race can provide. Imagine trying to take on other riders in an epic clash. Will we ever see those three-wide and four-wide starts?

* Online possibilities. Imagine going up against a virtual pack that can be its own MotoGP or World Superbike grand prix race. There isn't a great motorcycle racing game right now, so why not PD take the motorcycle gaming realm, twist the throttle, and run at hi revs to provide an online gaming experience?

Those are just possibilities. Now let's talk about continuing what the first game started.



--- Expansion and Enhancement ---

Tourist Trophy left lots to wonder about if there's ever a Tourist Trophy 2. I will look at a few key areas for you. Feel free to add your own input.

More Manufacturers?
These are the companies that comprised Tourist Trophy:
* Honda
* Kawasaki
* Suzuki
* Yamaha
* BMW Motorrad
* MV Agusta
* Aprilia
* Triumph
* Ducati
* Buell
* Yoshimura
* Moriwaki

There are a bunch of other motorcycle makers out there. Here are many as I use this link:
http://www.sportbikez.net/models

Would you like to see bikes in a Tourist Trophy sequel from companies like these:
* Benelli
* Bimota
* KTM
* Hyosung
* Caviga
* Gilera
* Derbi
* Vespa
* Moto Guzzi
* Peugeot
* Proton (only made the Proton KR)

And how about these to add some diversity:
* Piaggio
* Monotracer
* Arctic Cat
* Can-Am
* Harley-Davidson <<< once had an entry in AMA Superbike * Victory * Campagna ...and more of these kinds of bikes: * motards * touring bikes * cruisers (to an extent) * streetfighters * cafe racers * sidecar race bikes (would be cool, also different!) Let's not forget a few teams, also, like Harris WCM. Let's also not forget some special racing bikes. The only one I can name without delay is the Castrol Honda RVF-RC45.  



--- More Kinds of Racing? ---
Doing circuit racing can be fun. But among other kinds of motorcyclists, there are a variety of other ways to enjoy two-wheeled fun. Here are a few examples:

* Flat Track Racing. The most famous flat track race in America is the Springfield Mile. Think of taking some dirt bikes or some cruisers, and make the most of going sideways.

* Drag Racing. The basics would be seeing street bikes blast down the 1/4 mile or in 1/8 mile drag racing. The extremes would include NHRA Pro Stock Motorcycles or even some of the FIA Drag Racing Bikes.

* Motocross and Supermoto. Motocross is about the most exciting form of motorcycle racing. Imagine taking the green flag against a field of about 16 or so riders. Imagine taking on the whoops of most traditional motocross courses. Imagine flying higher and further than you ever could dream. Imagine doing being your own James "Bubba" Stewart, Chad Reed, Tony Dungey, Jeremy McGrath, Ricky Carmichael, or whatever. Motocross is great fun! Supermoto is a combination of tarmac racing and motocross all as part as one event. Those motard bikes would be best left to take on races other than circuit racing. Come on! Let's make the most of that motard deal including the motard riding position!

* "Real" Road Racing. I'm talking about racing on country roads. Think of Irish Road Racing taking place on public country roads while riding some sportbikes or superbikes. The creme de la creme would be featuring all of the Isle of Man TT.





--- Customization of Motorcycles? ---
Tourist Trophy gave you barely anything to customize motorcycles. I can think of maybe purchasing parts like sprockets, brakes, custom bike stands, swingarms, tires, exterior modifications, and more. Even think of simply taking off or taping up lights to go racing. Either that, or even giving you the power to customize your motorcycle to be the best speed demon or the coolest-looking bike there is.





--- Will a Sequel EVER Happen for Tourist Trophy? ---
Maybe or maybe not. I don't think there will ever be another Tourist Trophy for the same reason there may not be another Enthusia- not as well-liked of a game to even warrant a sequel. I have to believe that by harnessing the power of the PlayStation 3 and the ingenuity of Polyphony Digital, that if they were to make another Tourist Trophy, they could make the sequel even better than the first. My opinions won't force anything, but I think a sequel to this game can give motorcycle lovers the chance to digitally enjoy motorcycle racing all the further.

If you want a video answer to how I feel about this, check out my video here:


Link: Should Tourist Trophy Have a Sequel?





Comment away! =)

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