Thursday, October 21, 2010


John Marine | 10/21/2010 05:50:00 PM | | |
(UPDATED: July 31, 2012)

Being depressed robs you of being and feeling happy. Instead of thinking each day is a dream come true, every day feels like a living nightmare. A depressed person feels he/she has no inspiration or incentive to enjoy life. Nothing seems to go right. Everybody seems to hate you or have some agenda against you... and you've done NOTHING to hurt them. At its worst, depression breaks you down so much that you feel like you have no more reason to live. You know, everything in your life is failing, so what's the point of living anymore? At least, this is the mindset of those [seriously] depressed. I am really surprised I haven't blogged about depression. So consider this a blog entry for motivation and hope if depressed.

depressed girl
^ from: - Depression robs you of your ability to smile and be happy. Believe me- I know the feeling, and it is horrible.

For any number of reasons, we look at ourselves and our lives and think where we could be if we didn't have so many setbacks and shortcomings. I certainly think this way about myself. I sometimes get bad visions about where I would have been if many things in my life went better for me. Dealing with depression is never easy. I've had to visit counselors back in college when I felt down on my luck. I faced a number of situations that led me to feeling like nothing ever goes right. I do believe in "tomorrow is a new day." Put aside the woes of the previous day and work to make the next day better. It works sometimes, then it just explodes in my face.

I have experienced everything from hanging my head low to crying privately when life isn't going in a favorable or hopeful direction. I am not perfect, nor am I always thinking properly all the time. The toughest thing about depression is knowing that each day can be better. The only challenge is in finding out HOW to make each day better. Sometimes, we may just not have great fortune on our side.

If being on the Internet has taught me anything, it is knowing that there are (no disrespect) a bunch of people who couldn't care less how we feel personally. I could read status updates and blog posts and sense rough times with the people who post these things online. Nothing angers me more than seeing certain people online laugh at people because of their issues. Almost as if having personal problems is worth laughing about. I find it absolutely disrespectful and classless. There are people whom I totally feel for and wish I could do more to help make life better for them. If they are having good days, I want them to have better days. If they are having bad days, I sometimes want to try to help other people out because I sometimes have to prove to myself that I CAN make a difference in peoples' lives. I also feel sometimes like I have to prove my loyalty to a friend by offering help (if I can treat a certain situation, of course).

Now for some independent talking points...

Depression at its Worst.

At its worst, depression makes you feel worthless. You begin to feel worthless, unloved, unappreciated, nobody cares about you, you can never make anyone happy, you're living to die rather than living to live life, and other negative emotions. Depression is actually very serious.

I actually thought of the bullying deaths recently in coming up with this section. Think of being so disliked that you feel you can not live your life any further. Think of being so depressed that it isn't worth smiling or feeling happy about yourself any longer. People have said all kinds of things about me on YouTube (and even here in this blog). I try not to let any of their comments affect me, but I sometimes can't believe what I read in comments. If I was truly depressed, however, any other negative comments is just a way for others to remind me what kind of failure I am to the world (to those who think of me as a failure).

So at its worst, depression is a sign that life isn't getting any better and won't get any better anytime soon. You need to get some help from someone trusting and/or respectful if you are down in the dumps. Depression can really rob you of many things in life. You don't want to feel like the best thing you can do is to commit suicide. Speaking of depression and suicide...

Suicide is NOT a Solution!

This is what scares me about life at times- we end up in trouble so many times, that it is tough finding answers to help suppress our own sadness. The worst case is when we feel like the only choice we have is to commit suicide or injure ourselves badly. You should absolutely avoid feeling like life isn't going to get any better. You should absolutely avoid feeling like killing yourself is the answer to your depression. Basically, suicide is forfeiture. You are basically giving into your depression that you want to end your life as soon as possible to avoid suffering any further. When you have a bunch of behavioral issues and non life-threatening issues, suicide is really a cheap escape from your problems, and I call it a "cheap" escape because you've proven that you'd rather take your own life than live another day with whatever bothers you. Most people who don't take their own lives usually are able to take, accept, and try to solve problems or have better breaks. Those who just commit suicide basically give up on life and give up on hoping things get better.

Suicide is NOT a solution! What seems like a problem-solver is really permanent damage. There is no way to escape killing yourself. Or, just take some personal insight from me. There was a time in high school when I felt like nobody cared about me and that every day just made me feel more and more worthless. I was a Freshman in high school in the 1998-1999 school year. I was having problems with others and with myself. I have felt like I can do nothing more in my younger life than to consider suicide. The farthest I went was planning suicide. I never wanted to do it because I felt like I had the rest of my life ahead of me and thought there was some hope that things will get better. A girl in my 9th Grade Science class named Nancy was someone I was getting to know. As I started to become friends with her, I realized one day that she killed herself. A counselor came into our class and offered up some grief counseling. Nancy's suicide shown me what the next day at school would be like if I had killed myself. There were tears and some deep sadness knowing that someone took his/her life for whatever reason.

Long story short- suicide is not worth it. You are better off living with problems than killing yourself because of your problems. Life isn't going to get any better. However, you give yourself hope by not even developing suicidal tendencies.

Is it Okay to Cry When Depressed?

From experience, of course it's okay to cry. Crying is seen as a way to relieve stress and express deep pain. I do believe that God and life has a way of answering our calls when we are weak. There are times where I have broken down and just felt terrible inside. Almost feeling like I can't live any longer with any personal transgressions. Especially during my worst times, I feel like I can do nothing more but shed tears as I am at my weakest. I seek mercy and hope and perhaps... proper guidance in my life.

The one thing to remember about crying tears is that it's a sign of distress. It is a way of saying, "I want to do something to solve my problems, but I don't know how." We don't know how to solve some of our problems. Some things are just outside of our control to do anything about it. This is perfectly natural and human. Not all of us are strong enough to endure the various pains we suffer. We all feel weak, and sometimes, shedding tears is a sign that we hope things get better before getting much worse. It often takes time for things to get better. Sometimes, we are so daunted by our problems that we can't help but be intimidated on an absolute lack of hope.

Feelings of Isolation.

In reality, we are never too far apart from the rest of the world that we feel like we are on our lonesome. The comfort and support of friends and family make us all feel better. What happens, however, when you don't have many friends to look towards or if you have a family member or two who doesn't care about you as much in crucial times? At this point, you feel isolated. As if the rest of the world is handling their business while you are having your own personal issues and no one to talk to.

There are environments where I admittedly care too much about my own issues that I don't keep pace with the rest of the world. So I am naturally isolated at certain times.

--- An Extended Rant ---

This is another reason why we shouldn't have so many haters in life. We find every reason to dislike someone rather than look for things positive about them. We care too much about disliking others that the ones being disliked feel they have no reason to live. Life feels more like we happily await death rather than live any longer with our problems. A lot of people do so much to hate people and make them feel worthless. However, how many are actually out there HELPING others?

I hate being on YouTube for this reason. People will always look to hurt others just because they aren't as "cool" as everybody else. Well, I was NEVER "cool." I watched other people be more successful in life and love than I've ever been. I never had the best things in life. I've hated my own life because I hated what positive values other people were having while I bumbled along at a mediocre pace. I've always been the problem child or that person who was TOO different... to where I would be the butt of peoples' jokes.

I then start reading some poor comments people post about others online. You know- a girl is too overweight (I'm trying to avoid using "fat"), a girl can't dance, some guy is too ugly... if you have such issues with people, what makes YOU so special? What makes YOU any better? Not everyone is as cool or as attractive as you may be. It doesn't mean that you have to put down everybody else that isn't on your level. Neglecting certain people by is better than voicing how much you dislike someone.

--- A Special Message to Friends and Family of Suicide Victims ---

This is a message for friends and family who knows a loved one who committed suicide (in case you're reading this blog post)...

I want to offer my deepest thoughts and prayers to you and your family and friends. It is most saddening knowing that someone had to take away his/her own life because of problems he/she was facing. The most frightening thing is that the suicide victim felt he/she had no one to talk to. Either that, or the person felt like there was no hope in getting life turned back around.

If anything, we need to use suicide victim stories to help us to make life better for those who most need the support. More can be done to help depressed people who most need the support, especially for those who feel they don't need help (but clearly do need help). The most important lesson we can teach is to let depressed persons know there is hope for those who are down on their luck. We need to help make others feel better about themselves and to feel loved. We need to open ourselves more and reach out to more people. The depressed people themselves may just need some counseling and guidance to help themselves feel better about life and themselves. In this time of networking, we need to prevent depressed people from having such disconnects with the rest of the world. A difference can be made, but it will take time and effort to make these bonds last.

--- Depression Resources ---

Here are some online resources you can visit to help you if you are depressed:

* Depression information and treatment - Psychology Information Online
* Understanding Depression: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Help
* Understanding Depression: Psychological Self-Help - features a test for depression; use the test on this link to test your level of depression.
* Depression, American Psychological Association
* Psychological Disorders and Mental Disorders List - Alphabetical List of Disorders
* Psychological Depression
* MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER - Internet Mental Health
* Major Depressive Disorder - All About Depression
* Depression Help for You
* Major Depressive Disorder - DSM-IV Criteria for Major Depressive Order

Thank you for reading my blog entry on depression! Also, my best wishes are with all of you in recovering from depression if you are depressed yourself.

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John B. Marine said...

I've had occasional run-ins with depression. I am quite possibly the worst socializer you've ever known so I become like a "ghost" to others. And then there's other things too, like stress and life problems. I think the best thing you can do is laugh it off. Plus I think everyone has the same problems in life so it's not like you're alone, so try to find some help.

And about suicide--well, if you die for the sake of getting attention, you'll get it (although you'll be dead), but then everyone will move on with their lives because that's all they can do.

Really, if other people are getting me down, I say "to hell with them," cause if some people are that dense, then their opinions shouldn't matter.

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