Monday, August 27, 2012

Defeating Negatives With Positives

John Marine | 8/27/2012 12:48:00 PM | | | |
Does it hurt to smile? Is it asking too much to be generous and kind? I think our society is too fixated on negativity and hate. And as a result, we are more negative than positive. I began thinking about this topic when I learned of a popular controversial website devoted to people hating on various blogs online. It made me think about just how much people always try to focus on the negatives that impact our lives. Some even try to feast upon negatives and make every possible attempt to break us down even further. Almost as if people are put onto the earth to belittle and desecrate each other.

Let's be positive! The best weapon against negativity is positivity!

--- Defeating Negatives With Positivity ---

In no way am I any sort of advocate or crusader for positivity, but I think it is a sad society we live in to where there seems to be little or no affinity for others. There are some people who will troll online to try to get under the skin of others, basically hating people they think they know even partially. You have the occasional YouTube channel who may think the best thing to do is to target certain channels or videos of a certain theme, and offer the most hateful and disrespectful comments possible. Some of the YouTubers themselves even think it is fun to hate people in such a vicious manner or post material truly offensive to certain ethnicities, nationalities, etc. It is because of peoples' perception in mainstream society that some people can't seem to live each day with a positive rhythm in their lives. Either that, or people think that concepts like being kind to others and helping others in need is some sort of hippie concept or some kind of lifestyle choice that makes us all less of human beings. It's like Christmas sometimes- like we need certain holidays and certain times of the year to be kind to other people when we could really be positive and helpful every day, all year long.

Counterattacks to Negative Thoughts.

Here is a look at negativity that brings us down. The bold text is a negative example, and the text in parentheses () is a positive thought we should consider despite the negatives. Here are some examples:

• "I'll never find a boyfriend/girlfriend."
(That love of my life will come some day.)

• "Nobody loves me."
(I love myself. That should be just enough to hope somebody will love me in return.)

• "I will never find a job."
(I will one day get that job that will help me [and my family]. If only somebody can give me that chance...)

• "This business will never get off the ground."
(There will be that time, even if only temporary, where this business will actually help me profit.)

• "He/She will never understand my needs."
(He/She will understand me one day. That is even if there comes a time where I will finally be heard AND understood.)

• "This garden will never grow."
(Even with my best efforts, I see great things with this garden. Regardless, I will continue to work as hard as I can to make my vision a reality.)

• "I have no chance of winning this contest/sweepstakes."
(I may not have a chance to win this contest/sweepstakes, but just the fact I am entering it gives me some hope of winning.)

• "My team is about to lose this game."
(There is still some chance we can still win the game, even if it doesn't seem like victory is possible.)

• "My life is over. The one I love most is gone/dead."
(Life goes on even when the one I loved is no longer with us or out of my life.)

See what a difference thinking positively can do for you? I read an expression online about how photographers are great at taking negatives and turning them into positives. I've worked in a darkroom before at one of my high schools once. So I can say I have a little experience in using the darkroom analogy. Thinking positively and giving yourself hope is a great way to live each day like there is meaning. Otherwise, each day just seems like another opportunity to fail.

Don't think that I am offering you these tidbits just to draw a positive reaction from my audience. I actually have this positive-focused mindset based on pent-up personal feelings and feeling like nothing in life ever goes right. I am not just typing this stuff up to show I always think positively every day. In fact...

Personal Experience in Positivity.

I will not lie to you. As much as I like and try to think positively, even I fail to REMAIN positive at times when I am down. Having some kind of positive rhythm in your heart helps you feel better each day. Some people get depressed and start feeling like each day is just one step closer to dying. Some people may have serious depression problems that ultimately plays with the physical and emotional well-being of most people. However, it is always nice to know there is something lighthearted and positive to help people deal with their most disheartening moments. Having a focus on negativity can even take away days of your life and harm your health.

The Internet (and even real life) is already full of trolls and others who only create and capitalize on the misery of others. So why should I contribute to that losing cause? My tireless efforts to bring happiness to others come from my own episodes with depression. I feel an obligation to help provide positivity to others when it seems like most other people couldn't care less. I do believe in making fun of others as part of grilling or roasting somebody (making jokes about people out of fun), but I don't believe in hating someone for glory or personal gratification. What is the importance of attacking a certain individual who is getting all kinds of hate for no reason? It's like when people respectively hated on the likes of Esperanza Spalding and Rebecca Black. People... I don't know- they just find somebody to hate on for no reason or for certain reasons us civilized people will fail to understand.

I guess I become frustrated with the need to hate somebody or something, as if there are too many things to love but not enough things to hate.

Driven By Others' Misfortunes?

Sometimes, I like reading and hearing stories of people being down on their luck. I sometimes want to know of honest-to-goodness people who get hated on but have done nothing morally wrong. Part of the reason why I follow these stories is because I want to feel like I could do anything to help as long as it is within my limits and abilities. I always want to imagine I (or somebody else) can be of help. I feel the best way to show your unyielding respect for someone is to try to do something selfless and generous for someone. The person/people in question may not ask for it or want it immediately, but it is nice to know you've provided something that someone can appreciate.

The Impact of Being Positive to Others.

When you can make somebody smile and feel respected, it is refreshing in this day and age. I sometimes cry a bit to myself knowing that I've impacted someone in a positive way. There have been people whom I thought had love and respect for me, or at least... whom I thought I've earned the respect of, all for them to leave me behind and never want anything to do with me again. I want to help other people feel better so I can feel better about myself. I want to grow and maintain any sort of confidence knowing I can make a difference in others' lives. There are bloggers and YouTube channels who are always touched by compliments I may offer to them. In this society, it may be monotonous and fake to have people always agree with you and always say nice things; but at least this is better than constantly getting hate. I think there is too much hate and negativity to where we almost (basically) forget there are positive things and positive people out there.

All I want for people is to feel loved and respected. If I didn't care this much, then I wouldn't have made the efforts I've made to try to offer peace of mind and . I offer love and respect from my heart. I am not trying to be fake or always in agreement. There is too much negative in our society that I want to try to instill some kind of positivity to iron out negatives in our lives. Not every day is a happy day, but at least each day should at least have something positive to get out of it (besides living).

--- Do We NEED Hate? ---

Actually, yes. I just think two things: (1) differentiating between hate and criticism, and (2) knowing if certain comments are actually helpful criticism or outright hate. We can use criticism. However, hate- despite being undesirable- is as much a force of making ourselves better as anything positive we get from others. Some people even say that hate is a way to help us remember that not everyone thinks positively of you. It provides that even balance solely needed to even out the love and the hate in our lives.

Nobody wants to be the target of hate. On the other hand, hate helps us to realize that for everyone who loves our work, there are at least some people who will lovingly think otherwise. It is natural for everyone to have people who love AND hate us and what we do. If you just have people who love your work, you feel like everyone loves your work and that nobody thinks otherwise. So we do need a reminder that there are haters of everyone. It helps to know how some people really feel.

That said, hate is vastly unacceptable. It is still depressing how much outright hate drives our lives, actions, and thoughts. I mostly view hateful comments as a motor towards improvement. Sadly, more people would rather hate than use constructive criticism. It is also depressing how we feel the need to vent about certain things in dedicated forums rather than directly offer constructive criticism (not hate) to people. I think if you're going to hate somebody or something, I think it is done to where you want to offer some suggestions. Most people don't want to make suggestions. Rather, they just throw hate onto you just to break you down.

--- Advice for Haters (and Would-Be Haters) ---

Consider the following. I am especially referring to those who feel that hating is necessary or required.

• You use your voice to lash out and make fun of people whom haven't done anything serious to you.

• You type material in comments and in messages to undermine and disrespect people whom have done absolutely nothing to harm you in any way.

• You're willing to throw a punch at somebody as you believe your target isn't going to do anything about it (or seems too powerless to do anything about it).

As much as you use your collective energy to deliver negative to peoples' lives, why not use that same energy to help be positive to others? You don't have to always be in agreement, but it helps to be more positive to others rather than always seek attacks against others. Why not HELP people whom you think need some guidance rather than hate?

--- Final Thoughts ---

We need more positivity in our lives. It is natural to have hate for things, but I feel we expend too much energy on hating others for any number of reasons. I just wish life and living were more promising rather than feel like each day just brings us closer to dying or suffering a severe setback. This is how we're living- everything is riddled with failure. Misery and depression are what most people try to bring to others. Instead of living each day to make the most out of what life gives us, we always have to be fixated on negatives. These are negatives only increasing the chances of bringing us closer to death or severe depression. There is already too much negative going on. Where are we going to find positive energy to help suppress our own transgressions? When are we going to use more of our positive energy to make society and living better for ourselves and others rather than always be negative or hateful?

You can't remove negativity, but you can certainly prevent negativity from taking over your life and others' lives. What can YOU do to help make life better for yourself or others? Having made this passionate post, thank you for reading.

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John Marine said...

Wonderful post my dear John, I can completely relate the needed optimistic attitude with my new state of the mind!! Enjoyed reading this!!!
Hope you're doing well! Wishing you great week ahead!!

John Marine said...

Great post John! It's true, positivity goes a long way! :)

xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee

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