One can live life alone, but it is nice to know there are others who care about you. I think a lot about people who have certain issues, some blessed to have support from family, friends, or loved ones. Those with loving support just make life easier. Not all the time do others remain loving and loyal, but at least I think of those who benefit from having someone care about them even in the roughest of times. Having someone care for you and love you will not solve the world's problems, but at least there is something less to worry about. I blogged before about love being something to motivate you and help you feel better. I am dedicating this blog post to people who have others in their lives who are sincere and respectful.
Sometimes, I feel like any kind of positive material I suggest makes people think I have a one-sided mind regarding certain issues. So in this context, there are those who probably feel I am not regarding the fact that not everyone needs or cares about having someone else look over them. Or maybe having someone worry about them only makes someone less of a person. The fact is that there is a psychological advantage in having someone care about you and think of you kindly. The only way to disagree with my logic here is if some of the ones who show interest for you in tough times are only pretending to like you rather than be sincere. You don't tell people to be in your life. However, it is nice to know there are those who actually do care and actually want the best for you.
If you happen to know such people always wanting the best for you (even if it's me), be blessed and humbled. At least it is nice to know there are people who care in a world where it seems like hardly anybody cares. We always hear stories of despicable crimes and absolute stupidity. It is refreshing to know people do care and that there are good people left in this world. So thank the person or people who think about you and love you as you face some tough times. While you can still live life solo, at least be thankful there are people who want to help make life better for you. These are people who you should hold close to your heart and be blessed to have so much love and support. And as long as you don't do them wrong or if they don't do you wrong, be thankful for the loving support you get from other people.
I am hopeful this positive and lighthearted post is to your liking. I do what I can to offer positive material in a seemingly negative world. I just hope you appreciate my efforts even with the most depressing and difficult topics. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
At some point, we will face death either from our own deaths to being killed in some way. Dealing with death is never easy. Understanding and accepting death is surely never easy. "John's Blog Space" is a positive space. With that said, I open discussion in this blog post on one of the most difficult topics anyone can discuss- death. I will discuss this topic on a number of fronts and with various insights. It is a tough subject, but I'll do what I can to discuss it properly.
Please understand that this is not an easy topic to discuss. I surely didn't create this blog post without considering the various nuances of this issue. Some aspects of this blog post may lead to future blog posts on different subjects.
Death in General
Time to discuss the difficult topic of death. To identify this post, here is a picture...
^ from: www.wpclipart.com - Death is inevitable for all of us. It is as natural as living. The Grim Reaper will always win.
And now, a quote...
"Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering."
-Theodore Roosevelt
There is a saying of what is guaranteed are death and taxes. We all try to live our lives as best as possible. A number of different factors seek to deter our lives and limit our life expectancy. As much as we all can give life and live, we also can die from any number of situations. Even mothers who are pregnant could have their babies stillborn or miscarriage. Sad but true- you could even die in your own sleep! Some people even believe in the saying of "death comes in threes." This is the case where it seems as if death hurts in three ways. No matter what, death is that hard-to-accept reality we all must face and accept in some manner.
Death can surely hurt in the case of murder. There are often news reports of people who get killed by other people whether it's one person or multiple people. Even worse are terrorist acts where many people are killed by heartless and uncaring individuals. Then, there are times when people are killed by nature or by various accidents. These are times like when floods kill people or even wildfires. Accidents can relate to things like plane crashes, boats sinking, buildings collapsing, and any number of factors.
People can also die of natural causes or certain diseases. I once blogged about cancer, which is absolutely one case of diseases causing deaths. Some people die from things like heart attacks, diabetes, or certain other diseases and chronic illnesses. And then... some people simply just die of old age. You may be completely healthy or in great shape, and you just die eventually.
Even though provided for entertainment purposes, I hate when I've seen material such as "how would you like to die?" or "when you will die?" from certain entertainment websites. I think (I know it's entertainment) this violates the heavens and faith to think of how you're going to die. There are sometimes doctors who talk about how long you could live. Everything that could be done to save your life could ultimately mean your life could be extended as much as possible... but not too much further.
Having pets also has its own sense of death. Certain animals have to be put down. Some animals could have serious health issues no matter how much you try to take care of them. Trying to help animals live as long as they can is almost as telling as trying to extend human lives as much as possible.
No matter what, organisms will live and die. Humanity may eventually even be eradicated leaving mostly animals to rule. Death is a scary thought. What is most important is to try to make the most of what time we have rather than constantly worry about no longer being able to live. If we do die, at least being able to honor what all you've been able to accomplish is fairly positive thinking.
Near-Death Experiences
Ever heard of the expression of having your "life flash before your eyes?" This is a moment where you feel you are going to die, and you are given some kind of summary of the life you've led. Enter the near-death experience (also called NDE's).
One woman got some national attention about her near-death experience. When I think of near-death experiences, I think of Mary Jo Rapini. Mary Jo Rapini is a psychotherapist who operates here in the Houston-Galveston area. She usually can be seen on TV here in Houston on FOX 26 here in Houston usually on Mondays and Thursdays. She usually provides insight on relationship issues along with life issues. Anyhow, Mary Jo was once exercising when she suffered a brain aneurysm. Mary Jo was somehow able to remember what she could see and feel in this moment of near tragedy. It was chronicled in this segment recorded by ABC News in 2011:
To say "near death experience" is almost a way of saying you cheated death. Almost as if to say you were supposed to die, but something prevented you from death. Divine intervention, perchance?
If you want to think about going after a near death experience and making the most of time afterwards? Look to Mary Jo Rapini. She lends her expertise and advice to help others. She is a fine example of taking negatives and turning them into positives. If Mary Jo Rapini interests you, here is her website: www.maryjorapini.com. I have full respect for Mary Jo Rapini and all she does.
Near-Death Experiences vs. Faking Death.
There is a big difference between near-death experiences and simply faking death. Faking death is simply where you try to provide a situation where you get people to mourn your loss for entertainment purposes. I find nothing funny or "cool" about faking your death. It is almost basically a method to either bring cheap attention to yourself, a cheap way to have people show sympathy for you, or both. I surely wouldn't want to tempt the heavens by faking my death.
Death: Is There an Afterlife?
Is there an afterlife? Do we go somewhere after we pass away? Could we possibly die in one form and end up taking the form of something else (reincarnation)?
While I do not dabble in any religious matters, there are those who believe that our spirits leave our bodies and live forever. So when we die, we may live forever even if our own human lives cease to exist. Where do we go from death is a mystery in itself. For those who believe in reincarnation, it is possible we take the form of something else apart from our previous life.
Again- I am NO expert in anything religious. So don't take any of this information for gospel.
Death: Is There Life BEFORE Death?
Those who question whether our own existence is really real. When we sleep, we usually are in a subconscious state and perhaps in a different reality apart from our own. I even once heard of a saying that "sleep is the cousin of death." It is a truly convoluted thought to even imagine if we really exist and if the lives we live are real. This is one of those deep thoughts things that I don't necessarily dabble in. Just like the previous section, I'll leave this up to you to discuss.
Now that I have discussed death in general, the next part is in discussing dealing with death. So consider the next sections to be Part 2 of this blog post.
Dealing With Death: Instances
There was once a hip-hop song that had someone say "six million ways to die... choose one." Well, here are a number of situations regarding death and how to deal with certain instances.
Death: Natural Causes and Diseases.
As much as you try to be healthy, there are times when nature and health simply take you over and lead to your death. I am not talking about only things like cancer or diabetes or anything. Some people just naturally die, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Death: Murder.
One of my alums from my graduating class in High School was killed by about four men. So the case of murder is especially hurtful for me. Closure and justice is certainly something anyone wants in the case of a loved one being killed by someone else's negligence or disregard. Murder usually occurs in the case of someone wanting to take someone's life out of hate, revenge, or anything like that.
Death: Suicide.
When you are alone or are mostly reserved, it is scary and sad when you take your own life. You have to hate yourself so much to where you feel you don't belong in society any longer. Suicide is scary because you can take your own life and have certain loved ones not even know you're still alive. Death is surely a negative in regards to entrepreneurs and self-proprietors. Once an individual who owns his/her own business is dead, so too is that business. Suicide is essentially giving up on life, thinking nothing good is ever going to come and that trying to live happily ultimately means nothing.
Death: Murder-Suicide.
A murder-suicide happens after one person ends up killing one or more people, then eventually killing himself/herself. Having blogged about this once, here is a case where someone knowing that the weight of killing someone is overbearing, ends up killing himself/herself to either mask the incident or not have to face any extreme punishment by law. So this is basically a serious cop out to try to avoid facing harsh justice having already committed such killing.
Death: Bullying and Other Enablers.
You probably have heard of people killing themselves thanks to excessive bullying. This is where people get teased so much that people are almost seemingly convinced to kill themselves or have someone tease someone so much to where they are killed. It is also why I tend to hate Internet memes and trolling, because chances are, such teasing can ultimately lead to someone wanting to kill himself/herself due to constant teasing. People can become easy to break down when they are heckled to an incredulous degree.
Death: Martyrdom.
A martyr is someone who dies or is killed because of something he/she believes in. Common instances of such can be like when homophobic or transphobic types kill people over LGBT matters. Hatred of certain religions and certain functions of religious groups are also part of this form of violence.
Death: Unusual Deaths.
Some people suffer unusual circumstances that lead to death. I am talking about freak accidents and people dying in unusual ways. Even things you wouldn't think would kill people obviously leads to death.
Now for perhaps the most distressing aspect of death:
Death: Mass Killings.
Dealing with one person's death is sad; dealing with the death of many is even more sad. These are cases perpetrated by terrorism, natural disasters, or absolute accidents. Massive loss of life perpetrated by natural disasters is surely forgivable. An example would include people who have died in tornadoes or wildfires. Another natural example would be people who died from being struck by lightning. Then you have absolute heartless people who commit mass killings. This is the classic case of "humans, but no humanity" where someone decides to kill many people for whatever reason. It seems as if you hear about these cases just about each month. Finally to end this section, there are various accidents which lead to many lives being lost. Common examples include plane crashes, building collapses, and other incidents where multiple peoples' lives in a certain location are threatened.
The next kind of death is warranting of its own section.
Death: Self-Defense and the Death Penalty
We often times need to defend ourselves from the likes of others. To prevent certain people or entities from threatening our peace, we often feel the best way to ward off threats is to kill them.
Death and Self-Defense.
I blogged once about self-defense, which you can read here: "Self-Defense" (John's Blog Space). Violence of any kind is not easily condoned or justified. However, there are times where the best form of justice is to kill anyone or anything who threaten us. Taking the law into your own hands can land you in some serious trouble.
What About the Death Penalty?
For people whom have committed atrocious crimes against society or humanity, convicted individuals face the death penalty. This is where law enforcement and government decide the best form of justice is to simply kill that individual. We have the death penalty here in Texas. People could face lethal injection or getting electrocuted in the electric chair.
In regards to the death penalty, I am reminded of the movie "The Green Mile." I rarely discuss movies because I don't usually watch movies. However, I do remember some of the many issues involved with "The Green Mile." It's been so long since I seen the movie that I can't really recall much about it except for the element of the electric chair in that movie.
Whether or not you feel the death penalty is a good or bad thing is your call. I am not here to debate this issue or anything. I just wanted to bring this up among the different topics of death.
Dealing With Death: Funerals
If you think death is uneasy as it is, imagine having to pay for a ceremony to remember the loss of life? My mother and I once talked about funerals. A funeral is a sad occasion because someone dies or is killed. However, as sad as funerals are and as tough as it is to mourn one's passing, funerals are celebrations of one's life. These are moments to remember the lives of someone and what all he/she has meant to the world and to the people whom have known and loved deceased individuals. To have a proper funeral, it can be tough trying to acquire enough money to have a proper funeral when one's life is lost. I remember one time I saw people on the street trying to ask for money to pay for funeral costs. A proper burial is the best way to properly send off the deceased.
Dealing With Death: What To Think About Right Now
The idea of death is a difficult situation. You want advice from me in these situations? Here is some advice you can take from me:
• Cherish everyone who comes into your life that you love. Chances are you may never get to see that person or those people ever again.
• Let me take some lines from some feminine stuff: love much. Hug longer. Just hold on longer to things and people you love because you may never see them again in the future. Appreciate what all you have in your life and never take anything for granted.
• Never believe you are invincible or impervious to danger. As much as you've avoided death or avoided something that could have taken your life, don't ever think you can ever be killed or catch some disease that ends up killing you.
These are calming thoughts to help you realize the nuances of death. Here are more calming thoughts...
Death: Calming Thoughts
Especially in 2016, we have lost a lot of famous people. Just hearing about some of the many people whom have died makes us all feel sad and concerned. Times are going to be rough. All you can do is live life as best as you can for as long as you can. The moment you feel as if you could be next to die, that is when you begin to feel worried and concerned. Tough as the inevitable will be, there's nothing you can do but simply live life to the best of your ability. You have only one life. Make precious use of it.
Times like these are especially why I try to promote positive thinking. We can only control so much of our lives. A negative vision of the world and life only makes us feel terrible inside. If we forget what all positive there is out there, many more of us will begin to feel more like living to live rather than living to die. Death is inevitable; what matters most is making the most of the life we have and for what we are given. Even if we don't have long to live, at least we should make the most of what is offered to us.
Dealing With Death: Grief Counseling
The loss of a loved one or certain peers is tough to bear. When someone dies, the transition from remembering a loved one to trying to live without someone is troubling. So there are individuals who try to offer counseling to help grieving individuals and families.
One time in my High School days, one of my classmates killed herself. I didn't really get to know her, but I knew I heard a lot of things about how she died. One of the counselors came to my 9th Grade Science class to offer some grief counseling from losing a classmate. Losing peers of a certain community is just as bad as losing a family member. It can be helpful to have someone try to ease the pain by helping offer some guidance and help. All the crying in the world is not going to bring back the deceased, but trying to move on and live life without certain individuals is certainly tough.
Death: Final Thoughts
Death is never a comfortable or easy topic to discuss. It is even more something we don't want to experience, but it is something in the back of our minds even as we are even remotely healthy. Life has its high moments and its low moments. The world we live in offers its share of positive and negative moments. While we have no control over what goes on in the world, all we can do is live life as best as we can. There will be a moment where will face death. Even if we do not have as much time to live any longer, these are moments where you must learn to appreciate what all we have and never take it for granted.
It becomes sad when we hear of people dying or being killed for whatever reasons ranging from health-related issues to murder. Times like these are moments to really think about what matters most in the world. Death changes everything. You know what they say- you never know what you have until it's gone. And when "it" is someone's life, you now have to think about how to move on without a loved one. You may need to seek grief counseling to think further about how to move on after a loved one dies or is killed. Things like death help you to appreciate how much people mean to this world and society. If there is someone or something you love dearly, take full advantage of the opportunity to caress and care for whomever and whatever means the most to you. Being loved won't protect you from death, but it at least gives you something to be assured of and to be thankful of for no matter what journey(s) you take in life.
No matter what the case, death is never easy to handle or move on from. Everyone takes death differently depending on who is deceased and how much that person or that being means to someone. Regardless, it is a natural reality we must all accept.
In Case Anyone Suffered a Death Recently...
I would like to offer my condolences to all of you if you have recently experienced or suffered the death of loved ones. This may involve either someone dying or someone being killed. Do your best and try to find ways to accept something as harsh (yet realistic and natural) as death. It is never easy dealing with death, but it isn't impossible.
"John's Blog Space" is a personal blog with a variety of topics. That even includes difficult subjects such as this one. I am glad you stuck with me in my discussion of death and the various nuances of it. There are many topics I discuss in my blog and in other forms of media. So make sure to Subscribe and Follow my work if you enjoy it. Regardless of whether the next topic to this blog is pleasant or unpleasant, I still want to thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
Not everyone has great relationships. While there is nothing wrong with being single, there is one thing I take huge issue with- talking about being in a relationship like all people like they are the scum of the earth. I'll explain in this blog post something I've thought a lot about recently. Kind of bear with me here.
A Relationship Pet Peeve.
I have never had any serious relationship personally as of this post. However, I would feel terrible if I felt as if either I did my partner wrong or if my partner did me wrong; and as a result, that partner would go around celebrating being single, as if being in a relationship was a failed experiment that scarred him/her for life. I'd feel even worse if that person celebrated being single and enjoyed being single. People will have bad experiences with almost anything in life. Thing is, don't celebrate such things like you've made the best decision of your life to remain single. You end up becoming shallow and antisocial in the eyes of others having this sort of attitude. I am always someone who believes someone or something will come along and change any negative perception about things you may have- including relationships.
What upsets me is having a generalization that all males/females are distractions and deterrents just because you've had one or multiple failed relationships. While not everyone seeks relationships, don't talk about people like they are all the same and make stories that lead to unhappy endings.
Healthy (and Respectful) Ways to Express Being Single.
So based on how I discussed things here, what are some alternatives? Here are a few things I'd suggest. Follow my lead:
• I would recommend while it is okay to be single, just don't talk about all people like they are a waste of life and energy. Don't disregard all the ones whom have successful relationships. Just because you did not have a successful relationship doesn't mean everyone should follow your lead and enjoy being single.
• Having a failed relationship doesn't make you a bad person, nor does it mean you have failed in life. Even the very best of things fail or go positively. It isn't entirely your fault or someone else's. Some things simply just don't work as good as they can.
• Most importantly, do not celebrate being single like it is the best decision anyone can ever make. Most peoples' lives are not dependent of being in love with someone. So don't make it seem as if being in a relationship is as rocky of a decision as wanting to smoke or drink alcoholic beverages.
• Be careful trying to express yourself if you feel being single is best. Saying certain things will make you shallow and unapproachable in the eyes of others. Do you want to say or believe in certain things to where no one wants to be around you? Do you want to have a persona that will make someone feel uneasy in your presence?
• I would prefer you have friends rather than try to pursue a relationship if you prefer not being the relationship type. One would be better served as sociable than hating every person he/she comes into contact with. Don't pursue a relationship or give into someone who may be seeking a relationship if you dislike being taken by someone.
These are some of the things I'd recommend if single, but my biggest recommendation is this:
• Do not make remarks along the lines of boys' tears or girls' tears. It is okay to not have such good luck dating or keeping a boyfriend/girlfriend, but it is condescending and sexist to relate to being with others as having to put up with tears from heartbroken individuals. PLEASE avoid this. This mentality is both disrespectful and antisocial. Unless you want people to think of you in such a negative regard, this is the biggest recommendation of mine regarding this topic.
This whole notion isn't cute or cool, and I don't think you can even make anything lighthearted of this recommendation even if you tried.
Even if you think it is best to just part ways, at least this is a respectful look at being in a relationship and breaking up. There are no comments or anything along the lines of something raunchy or sexist- just learning some lessons and sharing them with others in a pleasing manner. Heck, not even Taylor Swift doesn't go around spewing hate being in relationships.
The main thing to take away from this section is that there are healthy and sociable ways to express being single. There are ways to express being single without making yourself look bad in the minds of others. There are also ways to learn from being in certain failed relationships and provide constructive views on love and relationships.
I am hopeful you don't think of me too negatively for the thoughts I have expressed in this blog post. This blog post is pretty much over. Discussion time (if you wish to take part in it)...
How do you handle being single? How do you think others should express being single?
I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe share this post with others. Subscribe and Follow this blog (and my others) if you find them useful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
A famous Marilyn Monroe quote inspired this topic. Marilyn Monroe once mentioned being prone to mistakes; but she stresses you don't deserve her at her best if you can't handle her at her worst. It all comes down to love. Do you love someone enough to accept them at their best AND at their worst? I figure I will share my thoughts on accepting people at their best and their worst in this blog post.
My Best, My Worst
Everyone performs at levels which we can gauge them at their best and their worst. We obviously don't want people we care about to be at their worst, but there are those times where their worst times shine. We surely praise people for being at their best. What side of someone shows up at times? The way to envision this is to imagine athletes and sports teams. A team can completely hammer some other team almost any given game, but the same team may find every way to lose and feel hopeless.
In regards to relationships, whether among friends or lovers, we certainly are exposed to what good and bad qualities others have. There are many things we are happy for being with certain people and being associated with certain people. People at their best make life easier and enjoyable. And then... for as much as we love certain people at their best, we can absolutely HATE somebody at their worst or for their worst qualities. People can improve upon their weakest qualities, but a lot of us ultimately just hate someone to some extent for their worst qualities or at their worst performance. True love and true respect relate to how well you can unconditionally love someone overall for their good and bad qualities and personality.
That covers others at their best and worst. How about evaluating yourself at your best and at your worst and how you wish others perceive you? It takes some courage to honestly admit things about yourself. Myself personally, I can have some anger issues and feel vengeful when people see me less than what I am or what I am capable of. I had people look at me and think of me as a liability. I've been potentially not good enough to meet certain peoples' needs. I know I can't please everybody. I sometimes don't even think I can please myself. I still give my best effort to others because I want to assure myself that I mean something to people I care about and to people whom I want to impress or reassure respect.
Everyone can always improve on their worst qualities. Certain personality traits will always exist within ourselves. The only issue is if we let those poor qualities define us to others or if we can work around our deficiencies and try to show our best performance. For example, if someone admittedly has an attitude problem, can that person put aside those attitude issues and still manage to produce and execute at certain tasks given to them? Or will that person do everything possible to disgrace and shame others around him/her? These qualities ultimately determine how we feel about people in general. This goes back to me discussing the good in others. Can you still love someone enough (worst qualities notwithstanding) for their best and worst qualities? This, more than anything, determines ultimately what people mean to us. If it seems like you can't take someone much anymore and feel they don't serve any greater purpose for you any more, the best thing may ultimately be to let that person go and cut him/her out of your life.
People at their best and worst...
At Best...
People being at their best is obviously what we want. Having good times and being productive leads to more enjoyment of life and greater self-esteem. We don't DESERVE great efforts, but we at least would like people we care about to give their best in everything to help make life better and fun. If we have reason and encouragement to do our best, then we are going to give our best effort to try to make things great for everyone.
I always give my best as a blogger because I feel great importance in offering quality content done in a quality way. Not many people actually tell me how I am doing- then again, I rarely get feedback from anybody about anything. There is still importance in posting material of fine quality to me. I at least give a decent effort, even if not my "best" effort. It is not as if I am expecting to win a major prize or some honor for my work.
At Worst...
If you care about someone, you don't want that person to fail or be at their worst. People have attitudes and sometimes can be lazy. Some others may simply act as if they don't care or don't listen. These are times when we are exposed to the worst of people. We all want jobs done properly. Trouble is, some people just don't perform on a level worthy of properly completing tasks. Tasks are done because we care about certain individuals, and we want to do everything possible to assure and ensure our love and respect. So what happens when our worst traits come alive? We end up frustrating people to no end.
I can tell you right now I have had problems trying to stay focused on certain tasks, such as releasing material in a timely fashion. You won't even believe how many blog posts and other material go unpublished or finished. Some topics I ultimately release have been the work of stuff I could have posted a long time ago. There have been tasks I've done successfully for others, but I always imagine what if I screwed up incredibly? For instance, I remember trying to haul a big television out of my room and stopping every so often because I was feeling tired lifting the doggone thing. What if I dropped that TV and had to face the wrath of my mother? Again- this didn't happen, but I always consider the worst scenarios aside from the best. Experiencing the worst scares me incredibly. This motivates me to try to do things at my best even if I make common sense errors. I am not perfect or smart; but please, spare me if I make errors about things most people normally wouldn't.
Overall Evaluation.
When you take someone at best and at worst, how do you ultimately judge someone? Do you still have the heart to accept and love someone for their qualities? Remember that people are not always at their best. Conversely, not everyone is at their absolute worst all the time. Does the balance of good and bad convince you enough to accept someone for who he/she is? Can you possibly work with someone to improve upon their worst qualities?
If you love someone despite their good and bad qualities, that makes others feel good because they know they can screw up or be poor and still garner one's unconditional love. But if someone is not loved despite the good and bad qualities, it can lead to a shaky relationship or always feeling he/she will never truly win the good graces of someone. Not being able to win one's good graces can lead to isolation and not getting the best out of someone or have someone on his/her best behavior. Unless someone just isn't sociable or simply can't stand around and among people, we all want to be loved and respected- even among ourselves. Some of those worst qualities ultimately define us, almost as if our negatives outweigh our positives.
Someone who we love but can't stand being with for too much longer may have one ultimate solution- just cut that person out of your life and let him/her go. You want to be careful making that decision, though. Really think about how much someone means to you and people around you. Also consider if you want that person to be associated with you for much longer. Can you live with yourself better without the person in question? Or is it possible that someone who can be better simply can't be coached to do better or be better? If you are totally and completely confident in letting someone go and never have that person be associated with you ever again, then by all means... cut that person out of your life and let him/her go. Addition by subtraction.
I hope you were able to take something away from this blog post. Let's discuss...
Do you deserve peoples' best if you can't handle them at their worst? Do others love and accept you at your best AND your worst? Can you improve on your worst qualities to improve your relationship with others?
This concludes another blog post of mine. Put this advice and this insight to good use. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
Love and relationships are great. So why are you single? Shouldn't you be taken? These questions are too personal and borderline pointless to ask to some people. Some will even shrug it off or even give some kind of comical response. When people are asked about why they are single or anything, it is as if to say one's success is predicated on being in a loving relationship. Or maybe it is to say being socially acceptable depends on being taken, and especially by someone immensely attractive or seductive. It could be acceptable to ask why someone is single as a way of saying that someone is a very nice person who doesn't have someone he/she loves. Almost as if one's personality is enough to win the heart of almost anyone in the world. That can be an acceptable take on questioning one's love life. However, when you question or ridicule someone for being single like someone is a bad person or like someone NEEDS to have someone in their love life, this is what gets me riled up. This sounds like having a love life is as easy as going to a store and buying one. We all know that is not true.
One time on YouTube, someone hated on me and said something along the lines of "get a girlfriend." Almost as if I am somehow required by law to have a loving relationship. First of all, it is none of your business to judge people on whatever love life someone has or should have. Let a person have whatever kind of love life (or lack thereof) he/she wants to have. I personally have known a number of girls whom I've known in school and college whom I could imagine marrying and starting a family with. I have never put any real importance or urgency to marry or love someone. How I am ultimately judged as a person should not come down to whatever love life I live. I also dislike when some of the ones who want to try to pretend they love me try to friend me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram. Some Facebook types are the ones who seem all innocent until they message you wanting a relationship. And what about Instagram? Some people who really want to follow me on Instagram are the ones who have links to shady, skanky pornographic websites. I immediately block certain suspicious Instagram profiles as I do on almost any other social medium.
Some people even prefer being single. You know, why waste time with people who don't love you as much as you love them? Or why even put up with people who seem to want nothing to do with you or don't care about you as much? Maybe some single people will want to get back into the game (so to speak) eventually. What is unacceptable is to wish certain individuals would get on the market. And on top of this, how do you know certain single people even want an opposite to love? If you criticize some guy for not being able to get a girlfriend, how do you know the guy loves women? You know... what if the male in question wants to be romantically involved with another man or maybe a transgender person? Some people talk about finding love it is a priority or something trendy.
Love lives are also not about competition. I am sure there are those who look at certain individuals as (especially among us males) to take the hottest girl and have a family with her. Everyone seems to want competition with everything- including finding love. Trying to find someone to love is unnecessary and excessive pressure. Why not concentrate on just loving someone whom you feel complete with or who you think will make you the happiest? And even if you are taken, don't be under any pressure to have the hottest lover anyone can have.
Final Thoughts.
Love should be a privilege and a responsibility. It is not, however, a priority. You are disrespecting what it is like to love and be loved when you question why someone is single or when you think someone should find love. True love takes time, effort, and chemistry. I would rather take my time getting to know someone and love someone than look for love as a "quick fix." Even if I were date others for the rest of my life rather than find someone to love and marry, I am in no rush or feel no importance to be taken in love. Not everyone is "wham, bam, thank you ma'am." Instead of worrying about why some people are single, why not worry about your own life and your own love life?
Other people are not prizes to win. Being with certain people should not be any kind of status symbol or have as much of importance as some college degree. People will still look at finding love like it is cute. It is about the same way as someone may find being pregnant and having children as "cute" or "trendy." Love is commitment, not a fad or a game. People in society are NOT failures just because they are single when they could be happily in love. So go easy on people that are single.
Love is nothing to disrespect or disgrace. It is also not a competition. Learn to respect others and their privacy- even in terms of love. Or in the case of certain people whom are faced with the question of "why are you still single?", the answer is simple- "none of your [expletive]ing business."
I hope you were able to enjoy this blog post. Feel free to agree or disagree with me at will. Be sure to Subscribe and Follow my blog(s) if you find my work enjoyable. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
You may be happy right now, but are you PERSONALLY happy? Some people are happy and content right now; but deep inside, they want more or hope for bigger and better. We all do hope for bigger and better. We all want to look, feel, and live at our finest regardless of our health and financial status. Both are factors towards personal happiness, but actually being personally happy and achieving personal happiness are two different things. This blog post is about being personally happy.
--- Personal Happiness: Basic Musings ---
Here are some thoughts for you to ponder upon about being personally happy:
• Or do you think something in your life needs to change for long-term happiness?
• Are you happy where you are now, or do you think you can be in a much better position and in a much happier place?
• Do you feel like you have everything, or do you think you need something that you don't have right now?
• Even if you an insomniac, can you sleep happily each night or do you cry in your sleep fearful the next day won't give you newfound hope and promise?
These are among many different things to help you realize what it will take for you to be personally happy.
Pondering Too Much on Being Personally Happy.
I will admit something about myself- I tend to think too much about things. Part of life is about letting life run its course while we try to adapt to changes in real time. Being personally happy involves knowing what makes you smile and what you really need to remain happy. How one actually gets around to this level of security and satisfaction depends on many different factors. Financial status is one factor on being personally happy. However, being personally happy can also involve relationships. Maybe you don't feel personally happy because there isn't someone in your life who loves you or who you would love to be with.
Effects of NOT Being Personally Happy.
If you don't feel personally happy, all sorts of things happen to you. You doubt yourself. You maybe have certain health problems. You feel like every day is closer to death rather than have a chance to live. You lose hope and focus. So in other words- if you aren't personally happy, you are heading into a trap or traps you may never be able to get out of.
When thinking about what would make you personally happy takes over your train of thought, this is where you may need to chat with an understanding individual to help you feel better.
--- Personal Happiness: Individual Issues ---
What would make you personally happy? Let's go through a few individual issues. These topics are not listed in any particular order.
Personal Happiness: Basic Living.
I came across one blogger's "About Me" page, and he noted blogging as an escape for his anxiety. Some people choose to do certain hobbies and activities they love to try to make a living with. Bloggers, vloggers, musicians, and countless other people do things to try to make a living or make revenue on the side. A lot of people feel times could be better especially if current situations aren't as prosperous. Those personally unhappy with themselves wish they can do better or be in better circumstances.
Personal Happiness: Dealing With Peers.
Can you imagine constantly feeling like no matter what you do, you never feel personally happy when in the company of others? Imagine a single male unable to win the heart of females around him. Think of someone trying to be friendly and can't make any friends.
Personal Happiness: Financial Status.
Do you feel you financially happy? Do you think you are making enough money to support you and others? Or do you feel you want to do something to better profit from your work? For some who feel they want to profit from what they do, some say they make enough. Some others... not so much. Your personal financial happiness all depends on you and how much you value your work.
Even as a blogger, I feel I may want to profit more from my work. The one thing I fear is being so involved with any financial matters to where I tend to care more about making money than providing quality material for the Internet. That is why I don't instantly fall for any offers sent to me online. The ones who tend to be most loyal in terms of contacting me are various SEO and money-making folks. They'll basically just pick one of my blogs at random and decide to send me an E-Mail wanting me to take part in some sort of shady deal to boost my appeal online.
I do want to profit financially from my work. However, I want to do so without getting into anything shady or taking part in some kind of scam.
Personal Happiness: Love and Relationships.
Are you better single or taken? Being personally happy can also entail relationships. Some people aren't as happy with themselves because they don't have someone in their lives who they can love and care for. Or maybe one person loves someone or has abounding interest in someone, but never dated or shared any loving moments with that person. One's personal happiness in regards to relationships can take a toll on some individuals who would feel the need to have companionship with another individual.
What if being personally happy involves breaking things off with your mate? What if you are having a rocky relationship and want to move towards divorce (if married)?
Relationships also involve families. Would you be better off being away from your parents or your relatives if you living with them or near them? It is something else to consider in regards to being personally happy.
It may also be possible that you want to start a family. Would you feel happier having children or even adopting a children? Please remember that being a parent is a huge responsibility. The life of a child is not any kind of quick fix- it is a lifetime responsibility of love and care for someone. So if being personally happy to you involves being a parent, be ready to take on loads more responsibilities in being a proud parent.
Personal Happiness: Location.
Location doesn't exactly mean being in a certain city, but it can also mean living in a certain part of town. Would you feel happier living in a different part of town to be closer to jobs or certain people? Or would you want to live in a certain part of town so you can prove your establishment? Or really... is it possible you can feel better and live happier in another city or even another country? Some people may actually feel happier not being in a certain city or a certain country. For example, an American fashion design student would feel happier living in Paris to further his/her studies in fashion design.
Personal Happiness: Education and Skills.
Some people would feel personally happier if they had better skills. That is why some who have had school and college experience often times try to go back to school to enhance their skills to land better, higher-paying jobs. Those who have taken the SAT and ACT tests maybe re-take them to try to get better scores. These are skills meant to enhance lives as well as our intelligence. Those who maybe don't have as much intelligence and as many skills don't feel happy with themselves.
Personal Happiness: Material Goods.
A new automobile. A certain video game or computer game. A certain electronic device. A new computer. Some handbag from a world-renowned designer. Sometimes, our own personal happiness can be fueled by wanting some sort of material item or items. It isn't good practice to base personal happiness on wanting something that could be purchased with money, but some people feel happiest when having something materialistic.
Personal Happiness: Experiences.
Imagine someone who always wanted to visit New York City but never got to. Think of someone who has never been to a basketball game and would be very happy to finally go watch a game in person. Some peoples' happiness can involve certain experiences that would really make one happy and joyous.
Personal Happiness: Health and Well-Being.
Ah, here is a classic case of happiness- someone would feel happier if he/she could lose weight. Someone with a certain illness or disability wish they could be personally happy by not having such ailments. Living healthier is surely something to be personally happy about.
Sometimes, being personally happy in regards to health and well-being can involve more serious and potentially risky medical procedures. One example would involve wanting cosmetic surgery to change one's looks to something to be happy about. Maybe someone wants a fuller chest or some implants to look a certain way. Maybe being personally happy involves having certain tattoos or piercings. Not to sound masochistic, but sometimes being personally happy involves taking pain.
Personal Happiness: LGBT Matters.
Initially, I decided to post a certain topic in the "Health and Well-Being" portion you just read. However, since LGBT issues are so varied, I posted LBGT issues in its own section. Personal happiness here can range from being involved in LGBT love affairs to even wanting to become any denomination of transgender. If you want an example of personal happiness, think of the likes of YouTube star Gigi Gorgeous or (more recently) Bruce Jenner transitioning to a woman. There are also a handful of people who find comfort in crossdressing and feel like a different, perhaps happier person when crossdressing. Especially those who felt born in the wrong body would feel happier having all the work done to properly transition to another gender.
Most LGBT issues are NOT quick fixes in being personally happy. Making such choices can be damaging to various love and relationship items. So be cautious taking on some issues regarding LGBT matters.
As you can see, so many things will make so many people happy. More thoughts to come. Go to the next section.
--- Personal Happiness: Final Thoughts ---
Personal happiness depends on what exactly you think makes you happy. Peoples' happiness is all about what exactly a person needs to try to feel happy and secure. One of the more complicated matters is how some people don't really know what would make some people happy. There are people who don't really know what would make them personally happy. Imagine feeling so not satisfied because you don't really know what would make you personally happy; or you have idea(s) of what would make you happy, but not anything specific that would make you personally happy. Some people tend to think personal happiness only as short-term concepts rather than consider long-term concepts. Peoples' needs and wants are different. People even do things to try to boost their own level of happiness, sometimes even questionable or possibly risky behaviors. Whatever it takes, everyone deserves to be happy and feel happy with certain decisions and features to try to become personally happy.
Think about realistic things when trying to determine what would make you personally happy. Don't just think so much about what will make you smile right away. Instead, think long term. Do you want to feel happy right now but end up being disappointed later? Well, neither does anyone else who wants to feel happy and secure for a long time. So strongly consider what would make you happy and work towards making things happen to become as happy and as secure as you want to be. It is okay to not feel personally happy right away. Not everyone is at their happiest in short order. But if you're talking long-term, seriously think about what it will take for you to become happier.
This post is over.
What would make YOU personally happy?
Thank you for visiting "John's Blog Space." I do what I can to provide quality material to the Internet, because while certain things like Internet memes and such are cool, you need something useful every now and then. I try to provide that (including fun content). So make sure to Subscribe and Follow if you enjoy my work. My best wishes and kindest regards are with you in living happily and healthy. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
A May-December relationship a young partner is in love with someone much older than he/she. For this blog post, I will define a May-December relationship as any relationship with a double-digit age difference between the two partners. So for example, a 23-year old female mated to a 46-year old male is an example of a May-December relationship. A lot of people favor people date within their own age range rather than someone much older or much younger than the person in question. Some would say being with an older partner offers security in regards to knowledge, financial status, and things like that. Here is a rather casual and brief post regarding May-December relationships.
WARNING: The following topic and its content may not be suitable or comfortable for all audiences.
--- May-December Relationships ---
Before continuing, here is a picture just to identify this post and set the mood:
^ from: family.wikinut.com - Romantic relationships where there is a significant age difference between two partners defines a May-December relationship.
Now that I made brief introducing to May-December relationships, it is time I introduce a few individual talking points on this topic.
The Cougar Influence.
Of a lot of May-December relationships, one of the most popular usually involves cougars. No- not my beloved University of Houston Cougars- I am talking about single, sexy, mature mothers 35 or older actively pursuing much younger men. One opposed to cougars would say that such women should focus more on meeting men their age rather than mess around with men much younger than they. Another part of the cougar influence is in the comedy sitcom "Cougar Town," which I've sadly seen only the first episode of and not really watching any other since I kind of liked that show.
The biggest influence in regards to cougars in the whole May-December vein is that cougars are very romantically involved in trying to mate with much younger men. Younger men somehow have something that pleases cougars so much that men their age or older can't match or better.
Do May-December Relationships Work?
Whomever makes you happy, regardless of age difference, is all that matters. That even includes if there is a significant age difference between a loving couple. I am NO relationship expert. So don't ask if it is right to date, love, or marry someone much older/younger than you. Whether or not a May-December relationship works depends on if you can make love work between you and your much older/younger partner.
What about cases of infidelity in May-December love? It is possible some older (or even younger) persons simply are with that person to try to get with someone within another person's family or relatives. Other scenarios are also possible. So such relationships may be loaded like you won't believe.
The one thing to take away is that whether being with someone much younger or older is not any right or wrong answer, or even anything moral or immoral. All that matters is love, compassion, and comfort. It is best to find someone who makes you happy and complete- even if the individual is well past your junior or your senior. After all... isn't love in the end about loving a total stranger who makes you happy and complete? Isn't it about (no pun intended) growing old with someone you love with all of your heart? I am not recommending or condoning one to love someone much younger or much older; all I am saying is to just find a lover who makes you happy and completes you.
Best wishes to all people in all loving relationships, including May-December couples.
That's it for this blog post. Share your thoughts if you wish. Here are some questions you're free to answer if this topic interests you...
What are your thoughts concerning May-December relationships? Are you perhaps in one yourself? What would you suggest to someone who may consider being with someone much younger or much older?
Believe it or not, this was a topic I wanted to discuss a long time ago, but never got around to completing it until now. I sometimes have many topic ideas but never make complete posts about. So this is another one of those topics from the idea factory known as my brain. This is one of many different topics I try to take on in my blogs. You just read a post in my main blog concerning almost any conceivable topic. Make sure you're subscribed if you want to see more content from me in this blog. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
Something is expected, but something else happens. The struggle of expectation vs. reality is common. Some feel like failures for not meeting expectations. Reality, however, shows what truly happens when even attempting to meet expectations. Some people try to meet expectations but don't have enough drive or focus to stay within trying to meet certain expectations or goals. Common expectations most people have are to exercise and eat right. That's EXPECTATION... so what is reality? Many of us sleep and eat [unhealthy foods] instead of exercise and eat healthier foods. Some expectations and reality scenarios are less serious. As a personal example, I bought "The LEGO Movie" on DVD/Blu-Ray months ago. Expectation: watch the movie. Reality: never seen it. (By the way- don't review or spoil the movie for me!)
Let's set the mood with a picture or two. This one just to identify this blog post:
^ from: youthvoices.net - Expectations relate to ideals or what one would assume. Reality relates to what truthfully is happening. The parallel between the two is a big part of what goes on in our lives.
And here is a comical, cute, ...yet very realistic idea of expectations vs. reality:
^ from: zofiawu.wordpress.com - Expectations vs. reality. This is Pusheen the Cat demonstrating a few things expected, and what reality is happening or eventually happens.
Personally, this is why I can care less about expectations. It is also why I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Only thing I suggest is just to live. Make good and bad decisions and learn to live with the consequences of making such decisions on the fly. So when looking at expectations and reality, always try to work on things you know you can work on and try to do things as best as you can. You're not the worst person in the world just because you fail to meet expectations or constantly fail at trying to meet expectations or goals. Don't beat yourself too badly if you consistently fail at trying to do something you know you can be better at. I am not being soft here- I am being real and honest. I know there are things I know I can do better but fail to actually do. Once you start getting too hard on yourself, that's when you have an even worse time trying to do things right and be easier to bring down. And when you're brought down, that makes meeting expectations and accomplishing goals even harder.
It is human nature to have such expectations yet not meet all or many expectations set. Life ultimately is about trying to work out as many different issues in your life, but I have seen life to be more about doing what you can with each individual thing you want to change for the better. The real challenge is in trying not to be too down on yourself on things you know you can change but fail to actually do something about. I know from experience- consistently feeling like I can never accomplish any sort of goals eventually makes me feel like I'm worthless and unable to reach any sort of goals.
The parallel between expectations and reality are very telling, but trying to meet most expectations without too much compromise is often one of life's greatest challenges.
That's it for another "John's Blog Space" post. Care to discuss? Here's my question to you all for debate:
How do you deal with expectations vs. reality? What would you recommend to people dealing with this issue?
I am hopeful you found some value with this topic. Please Subscribe and Follow if you enjoyed my work and want more. I am thankful to have so much valuable support from a worldwide audience who cares about my blogging work. Be sure to have a great day/night. Remember to get social with me if you love my work. There are MANY ways to do so- most of them are through looking at the "About Me" tab on the top bar of this blog. So connect with me any way you like! Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
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