Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Single Attitude

John B. Marine | 10/26/2016 11:31:00 PM | | |
Not everyone has great relationships. While there is nothing wrong with being single, there is one thing I take huge issue with- talking about being in a relationship like all people like they are the scum of the earth. I'll explain in this blog post something I've thought a lot about recently. Kind of bear with me here.

A Relationship Pet Peeve.

I have never had any serious relationship personally as of this post. However, I would feel terrible if I felt as if either I did my partner wrong or if my partner did me wrong; and as a result, that partner would go around celebrating being single, as if being in a relationship was a failed experiment that scarred him/her for life. I'd feel even worse if that person celebrated being single and enjoyed being single. People will have bad experiences with almost anything in life. Thing is, don't celebrate such things like you've made the best decision of your life to remain single. You end up becoming shallow and antisocial in the eyes of others having this sort of attitude. I am always someone who believes someone or something will come along and change any negative perception about things you may have- including relationships.

What upsets me is having a generalization that all males/females are distractions and deterrents just because you've had one or multiple failed relationships. While not everyone seeks relationships, don't talk about people like they are all the same and make stories that lead to unhappy endings.

Healthy (and Respectful) Ways to Express Being Single.

So based on how I discussed things here, what are some alternatives? Here are a few things I'd suggest. Follow my lead:

• I would recommend while it is okay to be single, just don't talk about all people like they are a waste of life and energy. Don't disregard all the ones whom have successful relationships. Just because you did not have a successful relationship doesn't mean everyone should follow your lead and enjoy being single.

• Having a failed relationship doesn't make you a bad person, nor does it mean you have failed in life. Even the very best of things fail or go positively. It isn't entirely your fault or someone else's. Some things simply just don't work as good as they can.

• Most importantly, do not celebrate being single like it is the best decision anyone can ever make. Most peoples' lives are not dependent of being in love with someone. So don't make it seem as if being in a relationship is as rocky of a decision as wanting to smoke or drink alcoholic beverages.

• Be careful trying to express yourself if you feel being single is best. Saying certain things will make you shallow and unapproachable in the eyes of others. Do you want to say or believe in certain things to where no one wants to be around you? Do you want to have a persona that will make someone feel uneasy in your presence?

• I would prefer you have friends rather than try to pursue a relationship if you prefer not being the relationship type. One would be better served as sociable than hating every person he/she comes into contact with. Don't pursue a relationship or give into someone who may be seeking a relationship if you dislike being taken by someone.

These are some of the things I'd recommend if single, but my biggest recommendation is this:

• Do not make remarks along the lines of boys' tears or girls' tears. It is okay to not have such good luck dating or keeping a boyfriend/girlfriend, but it is condescending and sexist to relate to being with others as having to put up with tears from heartbroken individuals. PLEASE avoid this. This mentality is both disrespectful and antisocial. Unless you want people to think of you in such a negative regard, this is the biggest recommendation of mine regarding this topic.

This whole notion isn't cute or cool, and I don't think you can even make anything lighthearted of this recommendation even if you tried.

A Healthy Look at Being Single or Breaking Up.

Here is a healthy and honest view of relationships, courtesy of my blogging friend Lily of "Imperfect Idealist": 7 Things I Learned From My First Relationship (imperfect idealist).

Even if you think it is best to just part ways, at least this is a respectful look at being in a relationship and breaking up. There are no comments or anything along the lines of something raunchy or sexist- just learning some lessons and sharing them with others in a pleasing manner. Heck, not even Taylor Swift doesn't go around spewing hate being in relationships.

The main thing to take away from this section is that there are healthy and sociable ways to express being single. There are ways to express being single without making yourself look bad in the minds of others. There are also ways to learn from being in certain failed relationships and provide constructive views on love and relationships.

I am hopeful you don't think of me too negatively for the thoughts I have expressed in this blog post. This blog post is pretty much over. Discussion time (if you wish to take part in it)...

How do you handle being single? How do you think others should express being single?

I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe share this post with others. Subscribe and Follow this blog (and my others) if you find them useful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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