Thursday, August 2, 2012

"Friend" Requests

John Marine | 8/02/2012 03:45:00 PM | | | |
Friend requests are always cool. Meeting people locally and around the world is always great. However, some really drive me insane. I ALWAYS want to meet new people. Don't get me wrong. My problem is when there are people only trying to get social with you to spam you to no end. I always figure if you want to get to friend me or whatever, it's because you respect me or have respect for me in some sort of way. Friend means friend. It means you want to befriend someone because that person interests you and because you have equal respect for that person. This is a "just saying..." post regarding friend requests and people trying to get with you for reasons other than showing love and respect.

--- "Friend" Requests ---

So what am I talking about in people aren't true friends or fans? Here are examples:

Spam "Friends."

Some people try to follow you or friend you just so they can mostly direct you to certain suspicious websites. I think anyone just trying to spam you should be avoided altogether. You should inform someone if their profile has somehow been hacked. Anyone in their right mind would know that if he/she is concerned about his/her profile, they should be mindful of people who post material the person did not post at all. A few times have I deleted someone because the person just kept directing me to suspicious material constantly. Some people who just want to be friends with you mostly don't even care if you say something like "hello" or "happy birthday" to them- they just mostly post random material online while showing no real compassion or respect for you.

Romantic "Friends."

Someone just trying to friend me or connect with me by pretending to be in love with me or want to get with me are just as bad as spammers. I'd rather take my time getting to know someone than just jump into some relationship with someone who barely even knows me, let alone cares about me. Most who try to get with me are usually two kinds of romantic friends- (1) someone who is seeking love by connecting with almost anyone he/she can immediately contact, and (2) someone who pretends to want you romantically, but really is a living advertisement to promote a suspicious or seedy website devoted to online dating or other suspicious material. If you're THAT desperate for love, you need some psychological help. I guess getting to know someone or continually showing and proving your love for someone is overrated these days...

Seedy "Friends."

I'll classify such people as those who will only contact you to discuss certain suspicious activities. For example, someone once contacted me on Facebook. We had a little chat, and the person mentioned where I could find certain drugs. I'm like, "WHAT?" Really- why contact me about anything illegal or seedy that you wish to acquire? And why do I need to be around people who want to inquire me about illegal stuff? I get at least one spam E-mail every week about drugs or online pharmacies. I don't want that crap in my Inbox online, so why the heck do you need to contribute to this crap to me?

Trap "Friends."

What I mean by "trap friends" are those who try to connect with you by providing innocent material, but then try to offer you something you don't want or didn't ask for. Example: you meet someone, and that person- in return for accepting him/her as a friend, offers you dirty pictures or links you to a suspicious website. Long story short- you took the bait and got trapped by this person. Mission accomplished.

Associate "Friends."

I'll define the associate friend as someone who just wants to be friends with someone... just to say they're friends with them. Doesn't care anything about the person he/she is associating himself/herself with- just wants to be friends or fans with someone just to be cool. What's worse is not showing your respect and compassion to someone that you've longed to associate yourself with. If you're going to be with someone you so respect, at least show it in some positive way. Don't leave that person hanging. Or to put it in a slang sense- jocking somebody's swagger. Bandwagoning. Trying to get a piece of the pie.

And finally, here is a special category...

Traitor "Friends."

In other words... people trying to friend you so they can insult you severely. This can mean many things ranging from the following: friending you online so they can attack you, following you on sites (like Twitter) to send disgraceful tweets to you, subscribing to you on YouTube just so they can be the first person to attack you when you post a new video, etc. They are people just trying to connect with you so they can plan whatever attack against you online. That's not friendship; that is just someone trying to jock you all the time. Are THESE the people you want to associate with?

This is just the way I feel about certain spammers who'll post suspicious links and suspicious material in comments. It's bad enough I don't get as many loyal readers for most of my blog posts. What's worse is when suspicious material is posted in my blog when I could be getting proper and respectful material from others. The same things I put up with blogging are what I sometimes have to put up with dealing with suspicious people on social networks. The red flags about someone are often there in regards to some people. Just have to know who to trust and who to just let go of entirely and for good.

--- Final Thoughts ---

If you're going to be a friend online, at least have some compassion and respect for the person you're trying to get with. I at least try to show my respect to others. I want to assure people that they mean something to me. Sometimes, I chat with current people I'm friended with to show my appreciation and respect for them. I don't want anything special- just saying hello and showing respect. Some people just think I have to have a reason to show kindness to them. I don't! We're friends/family/fans!

Often times online, I don't know what qualifies as being with certain people online. I usually get the feeling I'm rejected because I don't communicate enough with people to where we can actually stay together online. I always feel like people connected in real life should also be able to seamlessly connect online as well. The only real acceptable excuse as to why people SHOULDN'T connect online is if someone just quits using a certain service. Not everyone will stay forever or leave himself/herself visible on a social networking medium 'till death do us part (so to speak). That's why I get concerned (and a bit saddened) when someone drops me from their friends list when I feel I haven't done anything really wrong. And if I did say or do something damaging or wrong, I'll surely apologize and try not to make the same mistake again. Also, some people just don't log on constantly to certain social networking sites. That is perfectly fine, too. Just know that I still care regardless whether someone logs on every day or every so often.

Or maybe... maybe there is some sort of unrequited love I have for people online? Could it be that I am not as loved back by others as I have for others? Could it be that connecting online with others is much different from trying to connect with others away from cyberspace? In my view, if you love/respect someone in one medium, you should be able to almost seamlessly express your love and respect in another medium. However, social networking does not equal life and living. The coolest social media before Myspace and Facebook is simply connecting with people in person. It still remains the best social networking media even to this day.

I would never damage my own integrity with others by being any sort of idiot towards other people. When I seek a Friend Request to others online or want to associate myself with others, it is for the purpose of befriending and connecting with others I respect. That includes everyone from people on social networking media to blogging to YouTube and all points in-between. Even I should be careful and mindful of certain people who seem suspicious that try to get with me in some way online. I honor and salute everyone who follows me, friends me, "like" me (as in Facebook), and more. I am as true blue and stand-up a person as I can ever be. All I ask in return is for people to have equal (or even greater) respect for me and my work. I don't want to meet or be associated with people who have little or no true compassion with me- not online or in real life. If you made the effort to want to be respectful to me, at least show equal effort in showing your continued respect for me. I am not being harsh... I'm just being real and honest.

What do you make of such people who try to connect with you that don't have any real compassion for you? Chat away and thanks for reading! Get social with me and subscribe to my other blogs:

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John Marine said...

thanks for following! :) and thanks for leaving a comment. your blog is awesome! hope you have a great day!


John Marine said...

I'm sorry that you've run into so many negative people! It's too bad that in the world of lovely blogging, there are spammers and insincere people. You are so supportive so I hope I can be the same!

John Marine said...

What a fantastic classification of the "friends" you have made! They're so different yet almost the same when it comes to taking our energy... I learned to deal with those kind of people, I consider them as one step I need to jump over to reach my best mood, that's why dealing with them is such a challenge for me!:) I know you're such a good and polite person dear John, and I know you'll have more and more good friends, whether it's online or "offline/in the real life"!:) Happy Sunday, and thank you for each comment you've left me!!!

John Marine said...

Spam friends are the worst. I hate the ones you don't know, but they claim to know you, and then you think, "Do I really know them?" because there is a chance you forgot them ... But no, you don't know them. They just want to increase their friend count. Lame balls. @GlamKitten88

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