Sunday, May 5, 2013

Sexual Pressure

John Marine | 5/05/2013 12:17:00 AM | | |
(UPDATED: May 23, 2013)

Pressured into sex or being sexy? It seems tough to try to avoid sex and being sexy in today's postmodern times. In no way am I suggesting there is nothing wrong with this or dabbling with being sexy. However, I feel there is constant and persistent pressure to be sexy. Mainstream society will likely honor and praise those who are in the vein of "sex, drugs, and rock and roll." Society will praise the male who is either overbearingly handsome or has a body seemingly chiseled from stone. They will praise the female who wears short skirts/dresses and has a body every heterosexual male would dream to impregnate. Some things have inside sexual undertones, even among things that are not meant to some sort of sexual influence. So the one thing I wonder is... how much are we (as a society) under sexual pressure? Are we oversexed? This blog post is my contribution to the matter.

I feel like I am either discussing something nobody brings up or wants to discuss in a certain manner. Regardless, welcome to another "John's Blog Space" post.

WARNING: This topic may not be suitable for all audiences.


MAY 23 2013 - added an extra section

--- Sexual Pressure ---

Let me set the mood with a picture:

sexual pressure
^ from: - How much sexual pressure are we under? Being pressured into sex as a society is like pumping a balloon or igniting a fire.

As times progressed, modesty has been pushed aside in favor of a more rebellious culture. You can hark back to times like the 1920s when flappers became popular- women who ditched long skirts and long dresses and started wearing shorter dresses. You can also look to the times of Woodstock- a huge counterculture movement where young folks (at that time) had their own fun- including having sex. You can even look to iconic figures such as Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, and the like as being seductive figures in our society.

We've become a society mostly that favors and capitalizes on sex. To be accepted to some people, you have to be sexy in some sort of capacity. You have to market something on an appealing level to get certain people to care. You have to sexualize something to make it attractive. At least... this is among most media types and at least among American media. For one, we've sexualized everything ranging from schoolgirls, to secretaries, to even librarians. It is all in the effort to market and promote things to others.

While I am not suggesting that being sexy is anything wrong, what I am saying is that there is enough sex and sexiness to go around to where you can't seem to escape it all even if you tried. Even as a publisher of online content, I don't want to feel like I am feeding a monster any more than it needs to be fed (so to speak). So I am even careful of what I post online because I know I may be pleasing the sexual desires of certain shady people online who search any of my blogs and blog posts. I am careful of what I post and how I post.

--- Sexual Pressure: Talking Points ---

There are a few dynamics to this topic. To explain what it is I am trying to explain, let's look at a few key points:

Do You Need to be Sexy to be Loved?

Some are not content with looking hot or showing themselves in certain ways. If sexy equates to beautiful to you, then you feel under constant pressure to look and feel attractive enough to be loved by someone. You feel importance in trying to be worthy of sexual arousal. It means you are willing to make yourself as much of a hottie to people you love or want to be loved by.

The other department of this topic relates to what qualifies as sexy. Does it mean looking appealing? Does it mean being willing and ready to engage in sexual intercourse when wanting those desires fulfilled? Or to quote a song from Ludacris, is it about "being a lady on the streets but a freak in the bed?" Some feel being sexy and feeling sexy is very important. It all depends on a number of social and romantic factors.

Do You Need Sex in Your Life?

You can't escape sex in today's society. All kinds of tones and themes only draw us in when it comes to trying to escape from the notion of sex and being sexy. Look at various advertisements and celebrities who promote products and services in a suggestive manner. I can speak as someone whom follows fashion- seeing advertisements in various forms of media are often times sexually suggestive. For example, think of ads of muscular males wearing only underwear or some kind of male swim bottoms. Think of topless female models in a jeans ad covered only by long hair or with the model covering her breasts with one of her arms. In these situations, it's true what they say- sex sells.

Trying to be modest only makes you boring among some members of society.

Sex in Our Youth.

The most damaging aspect of sexuality is in our youth. That includes both being involved in sex and teaching others about sex. One of my most popular blog posts here on "John's Blog Space" is my post regarding pregnant youth. Being involved in sex as a youth involves the issue of teen pregnancy. There is a campaign by Candies that urges teenage girls not to get involved in teen pregnancy.

About as worse as getting youth involved in sex is the notion of teens becoming promiscuous. Think of teenagers who parade around boastfully bragging about being sexy and feeling indestructible. I have certainly seen many a daytime talk show of teenagers (and even some children) who get drawn into and indulged in sex. Certain teenagers live wild lifestyles to where they are engaged in sexual activities and even wear sexy clothing. In addition to being oversexed, they may also be wildly active partying, doing drugs, getting violent, and things of that nature.

What has to be of the utmost importance is the ability to properly teach sex and sexual matters to youth so they don't screw themselves for life later in life. Learning to abstain from sex at a young age is also key in properly developing youth. Many people usually think youth should enjoy being young and not get involved in things like sex. Getting involved in sex at a young age can lead to situations like getting tested for sexually-transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and things like that.

Looking Sexy or Being Seen Only as a Sex Object.

(ADDED: May 23, 2013)
Doesn't it disgust you if people don't even care about something you try to discuss, and people mostly hate on your looks? I was disgusted when I saw a video of the beautiful Arika Sato, and most of the YouTube commenters were hating on Arika just because she wasn't showing her breasts. It is like some people couldn't care less about actual factual material. Only instead people care about certain females only on the grounds of their appearance. Females who aren't sexy or don't look sexy get ridiculed and hated on.

I even seen a video of a teen girl doing some high-energy dancing to a Japanese song, and someone referred to her as a "pussy." Another teenage girl (and a fellow blogger) I encountered online talked about how she should be doing pornography... as a 15-year old girl! What is more disappointing (and disgusting) than be talked about as a mere sex object is being a young person being trashed on as a mere sex object. It's like people don't care about certain things people try to express and instead only look at females as sex objects. That is even if the female in question is not trying to be sexy or suggest something sexy.

It is okay to be visually appealing and sexually appealing. However, what becomes disgusting is how people can only view certain others as sex objects or as cheap thrills.

Regarding to Items as Pornography.

(ADDED: May 23, 2013)
Anyone familiar with Internet lingo may have heard of "Rule 34." If you're not Internet-savvy, Rule 34 states this:

"If it exists, there is porn of it."

-Rule 34 of the "Rules of the Internet"

So you have these terms using the word "porn": gadget porn. Shoe porn. Food porn. Honestly... do we really NEED to market things as pornography just to make them more attractive? Some people on the Internet community would say yes. I NEVER market and will never market or refer to anything as porn just to make it more viable and visible to others. I think of pornography much like I think of negativity and hate- there is already enough of it, so why contribute to it? I am always careful in how I present my material; because if I post something in a suggestive manner, people aren't going to care about a certain topic in a way I want it to be expressed. I do have fun with what I post and suggest. However, I am always careful not to have something be famous for the wrong reasons.

Using Sexual Terms to Describe Something.

(ADDED: May 23, 2013)
Here is what I mean: if a sports team is beating another in a rout, some people will say something like, "this team just demolished the other team." Some other people, will say something like "this team just raped the other team." Sometimes on YouTube, I've seen people comment saying one ear got an orgasm with videos that have videos with audio only coming from the left channel or the right channel. Sexual references, to me, are really unnecessary. I would never use sexual terms to express something.

So sex and being sexy takes on a huge number of factors. I looked at sexual pressure from a number of different perspectives. How do you feel about these subject matters?

--- A Little Sex and Sexiness Goes a Long Way? ---

Now a further look at this topic. Here is an article from 2010 regarding Selena Gomez needing to be sexier to take advantage of more lucrative roles:

"Experts Say Selena Gomez Needs to be Sexier" (Celebuzz)

Most of what is expressed is that these "experts" think Selena Gomez can benefit in the long run by being sexier. Almost as if the "good, sweet girl" image is only going to lead to not getting as many serious attention. Many of the comments that people said in response on Celebuzz were along the lines of "Selena Gomez is fine as is; we don't need another slutty (at the time) teenager."

This is the world and society we live in. You HAVE to be sexy to be cool. You have to look sexy to be cool. In the eyes of most people, cute and modest (in terms of females) doesn't make you cool- it just makes you boring. You often hear of certain celebrities (especially young ones) being recognized and represented in negative context. Such examples include the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, and others like that. You then have those young celebrities who don't use sexuality or controversy to become famous like Miranda Cosgrove, Shay Mitchell, and Taylor Swift among others. Whatever happened to getting ahead with talent and hard work? Being sexy or seductive is purely natural, but are we forgetting that talent REALLY pays the bills and extends our personalities all the further?

--- Sexual Pressure: Masculine Issues ---

After going on about sexual pressure from a feminine standpoint, it is now time I think about this issue on the masculine level. As much as sexual pressure impacts females, it impacts a lot of us males equally. Most males seem to really be at a level where they have to be hunky and handsome. They have to be under pressure to be as appealing as any lustful female celebrity. Males who aren't overbearingly handsome or (for lack of a better term) can't perform in the bedroom are disliked among members of society. The same disregard also applies for males who lack sexual drive.

I don't feel being under this sort of pressure because I know I am not the kind of guy that females in mainstream society would consider lustful. I know who I am. I know what I am. I understand my character and accept myself for who I am. And the bottom line is- I DO NOT consider myself any sort of figure mainstream society would deem "sexy" or "handsome." So to avoid embarrassment, I won't lower myself to any sort of degree.

--- Sexual Pressure: Who Has It Worse? ---

Who do I think is under greater sexual pressure- males or females? Both sides have their own levels of intensity as far as sexual pressure is concerned. But if you ask me, I think females are under greater sexual pressure than us males. This pressure is either influenced among themselves or among various other social influences. Even some pregnant females feel they have to be and feel sexy even while pregnant. Many of these issues boil down to self-confidence and self-esteem. Those females who feel the need to be and remain sexy don't have enough self-confidence and self-esteem in themselves to accept themselves for who they are.

Who one really thinks has it worse between males and females depend mostly on who basically feels sex and being sexy impacts more.

--- Sexual Pressure: Final Thoughts ---

You don't need to be sexy to be cool or loved. Sadly, society makes it seem like you have to be indulged into the concept of "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" to be accepted among the greater public-at-large. A lot of us feel we have to be on a certain level to become better admired. That even includes being sexy in some capacity. People who therefore lack a certain level of sex appeal are not considered cool or liked among others. While it is not true that some of us have to be at the level of certain celebrities to feel sexy and confident, what is more important is just being ourselves and being proud of who we are regardless of what others may think about us. Nothing at all is wrong with sex or being sexy. But likewise, one does not need to be sexy or be real sexually active just to be loved and respected. Learn to be confident with yourself and your personality before taking on being sexy.

Sexual pressure affects just about all of us in some sort of capacity. How does this affect you, if at all? Do you find it easy or hard to escape excessive sex talk? How sexed do you think our society is? Feel free to comment away. And of course... thank you for reading!

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John Marine said...

Sex is definitely everywhere in our culture, and I would go further and say that the images to which we are exposed aren't just promoting sexiness but sexism. Women are expected to be perfectly groomed, rail-thin but with curves and large breasts, etc. to be desired, accepted, beautiful, and of course, sexy. As a former sociology instructor, I taught about this topic a lot. An excellent film to watch regarding this topic is "Killing Us Softly." It's actually a series of lectures started back in the 1970s. The most recent version, "Killing Us Softly 4" came out a few years ago. You can find clips of it on youtube.


John Marine said...

great post! I think, there is too much sex everywhere in our culture, tv, video clips.. ;(

clemence said...

Great post

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