Sunday, October 10, 2010


John Marine | 10/10/2010 11:06:00 PM | | | | |
(UPDATED: April 10, 2012)

No topic has generated so much media attention than bullying. So what is bullying? Simple- someone verbally or physically abuses someone to the point where the subject feels threatened. And in the extreme worst-case scenario- the subject of the bullying dies or is killed. Why does bullying exist? It's because people enjoy ridiculing someone so much that they want to assert themselves by making fun of or harassing someone. If someone's bullying, whether physical or verbal ensues to the point of depression or the subject dying or being killed, the bullies won.

This blog entry is not only my own personal thoughts on bullying, but also on various issues regarding bullying as well as how to curb this issue from getting any worse.


FEB 2 2012 - basic edits made

--- Initial Thoughts on Bullying ---

bullying picture
^ from, by way of - Bullies - hypocritical people who belittle anyone who isn't as *great• as they are.

Bullying is nothing new. Imagine hating someone so much that you leave them to depression and perhaps even suicide. This is where someone picks a certain person to ridicule and hate on. This leads to various acts- posting status updates on social mediums talking about how bad someone is, saying things about that person to disgrace or desecrate him/her, and things like that. This is one of the most extreme cases of hating someone, especially when the bullying snowballs into something that leads to depression followed by suicide.

No one person should ever have to endure bullying or being the subject of bullying. However, because some people find it "cool" to disgrace people who did absolutely NOTHING to harm them, bullies feel it is necessary to bully someone. It's like when some people look at one of my videos and automatically hates on me or looks for any insult against me. We are a people where we feel the best way to improve our image is to tarnish someone else's image. Almost as if life is a food chain, and all of us are trying to be atop the food chain. This is perfectly fine in sports or business, but this is real life we're talking about. Trying to be popular in school or in life is much different from being the best team/player in a certain sport.

The Desire to Stand Out.

I have a clear idea about bullying- someone in society or someone among peers is so different in a negative sense that it requires some people to use them as a target. These bullies have some sort of vendetta against someone that it leads to using any means to get the subject's attention. The saddest thing about bullying is that some people want to become popular or stronger knowing they've pushed around someone they don't like (and that someone who likely never did anything to hurt that bully).

The bully/bullies exist for one reason- they are inferior people who lack self-esteem and respect so much that they try to vault their character... at the expense of an innocent, harmless person. So they feel that the need to stand out and boost their appeal is to ridicule ANYONE in society that is outside the boundaries of what is considered socially acceptable or right. So for example... if you're of a certain race, you get bullied. If you are gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered, you get bullied. If you're too overweight or very skinny, you get bullied. In other words, being something that a bully dislikes about people is grounds for you to get ridiculed and bullied. Everyone loves certain people and loathes certain others. That is perfectly fine. That is human nature. However, some feel it is necessary to go after people they don't like by doing all kinds of tasteless and harmful acts and stunts.

Some people are just unable to realize that not everyone is the same. Instead, everything has to be exaggerated just because someone is different in such a way that making fun of that person or abusing someone by physical or verbal means is grounds for entertainment and enjoyment. IT'S NOT! But don't tell that to those bullies hellbent on attacking others. These bullies care more about ridiculing other people to where they have a mission to rid the world of people who they don't consider "cool" or "normal."

Accept and Love Who You Are.

Victims and targets of bullies often disregard the first thing to be concerned with- accept and love you who are and what you stand for. As long as you are nobody anti-social or hurtful to others, you are a great person. It is tough to accept the fact that you are the complete opposite of what bullies think about you.

Allow me to explain. I've gotten to know many people of many kinds. I've known people shorter than me and taller than me. I've known people who are attractive (what society deems attractive) and unattractive (what society deems unattractive). I've known people who are straight, some who were homosexual, and I've even known a transvestite. I have known people who are perfectly healthy, and then those who have certain disabilities. I've known people that had similar and different tastes in music as mine. One thing I've learned about people is that we are all people. We are all different. As the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. We need different people in this world to show society that not everyone is the same or of the same wavelength of what society considers normal or acceptable.

--- Accept and Love Yourself Example ---

Let me use females as an example. Most people in society frown upon girls just because they aren't Barbie-doll perfect or just because they aren't super-sexy like (your favorite seductive female celebrity). Some of the girls who feel constantly put down and disregarded feel as if they have to constantly change themselves and re-invent themselves just to meet the standards certain people in society put on them. Do all of them change their image? No.

Plus-size females find it better to be themselves and not pressure themselves into being incredibly slim and slender. Plus size females even try to find and wear fashions to make themselves every bit as attractive (sometimes, MORE attractive) than any slender or fit female.

What about petites? Some get ridiculed just because they are short. They are people like you and I, but some think petites are too short to enjoy some of the latest fashions and styles for most average height females.

What is the point of all of this? Simple- you are someone special. You shouldn't have to change your image just because some lowlife hates you. Why do you need to adjust your image just to meet the desires of some bully? In this world where we feel like being different is the only mean of survival, bullies hate most of us because we're different. Okay- I take that back... there's different-good and different-bad. Being hated on just because of different aspects of us that make us inferior to others is totally unacceptable. It's like we have to be like most other people in society to be accepted, but not be so different to where we become disliked. In other words... we have to be just like everybody else in character and personality to limit our chances of getting bullied on.

--- Types of Bullying ---

Bullying, in its purest sense, is the act of abusing someone by physical or verbal means. How this is done happens in various ways. As with any crime or controversial activity, there are always people looking for new ways to commit bullying acts. I will name and illustrate a few methods here...

Physical Bullying.

physical bullying
^ Physical bullying demonstration.
(original picture taken from:

Physical bullying entails offensive, bodily contact against a certain subject. Such a method involves a bully making physical contact with a subject in a method of belittling or intimidating a person. Physical contact can range from playing around with someone to delivering extreme offensive contact (like punches, kicks, or throwing).

Verbal Bullying.

verbal bullying
^ Verbal bullying demonstration, because words can hurt just as much as physical contact.
(original picture taken from:

Words sometimes hurt as much as physical contact. Verbal bullying is what I will define as using insults and hurtful words to intimidate a subject. These words can range from derogatory slurs to various other verbal insults.

Cyber Bullying.

Cyber bullying - online
^ from: - Cyber bullying is quite common in social networking media and in various IM and chat settings.

The use of cyberspace to attack someone is what defines cyber bullying. Using the Internet to attack and belittle someone is the high-tech way of bullying others. The use of media from services like (but not limited to) Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, YouTube, various Internet service providers (ISPs), and services thereof is a high-tech way of intimidating other people. This can mean anything from offensive blog posts, messages sent directly to you, Instant Messaging attacks, chat room attacks, and the like. Personal security online can be threatened and compromised at the hands of a cyberbully.

Cyber bullying - mobile
^ from: - Cyber bullying isn't relegated only to computer usage.

Cyber bullying, however, does not only involve PC usage. This can also go into media such as mobile phones, camera phones, and even video game consoles. A cyberbully who uses a camera phone can take discomforting images of people and post it all across the Internet to viral limits. In the end, this compromises the freedom and privacy of the bullying subject.

These kinds of bullying are all just that- bullying. The extremity of each case of bullying lends itself to just how it is executed and how the bullying targets take the bullying. In all cases, the results are anything but pleasant for the bullying victim.

--- Worst-Case Aftermaths of Bullying ---

The worst that can come from bullying is in death. Some people are offended so poorly that they suffer mental distress and depression. The absolute worst cases involve death- whether done by the bullied subject or by someone else (including by the bully/bullies themselves). Bullies feel a sense of accomplishment when a weakened subject is either scared, injured, or even dead.

Considering what kind of society and life we live in, many of us feel the best way out of such a situation is to kill ourselves. It is almost as if bullied people would rather gladly die than live any more days with bullies threatening them. I can only cringe when I hear of people being bullied and disregarded. In my days, there were people who would feel like they can't live a day in happiness. There are great people in this world (let alone our society) treated unfairly. Sometimes, I feel like being friends with certain people means I must do everything I can to be a true friend and a true helper. Life is too short to be a hater or a bully. I remember one person whom I met in college. He was an openly gay male who was also a transvestite. I am not sure if people have made of him constantly, but I cared enough about him to where I felt like I always cared about him as a friend. He was living a tough life, but as long as I was there to stand up for him as a friend, he knows he has a friend. He wasn't bullied or anything; I just mentioned this to show that I care for many people to where if others DIDN'T care for certain people, at least I care.

So for any situation- the worst-case of any form of bullying is that of a person killing himself/herself because he/she couldn't take the constant abuse perpetrated by bullies. Like in the case of the ones who committed suicide because of being bullied, these are some of the absolute worst cases (and worst aftermaths) of bullying.

--- How Do You Curb Bullying? ---

Bullying is like certain diseases (like AIDS)- you can treat it, but you can't cure it. There will always be bullying. We can't pursue everyone and every instance of bullying to where bullies succeed at disgracing someone. Also, you have to wonder what qualifies as bullying and what constitutes as a serious form of bullying. Making fun of someone can be done just for fun and not be used to intentionally hurt someone (like grilling or roasting someone). However, how does making fun of someone go to the point of bullying? That is one of many things to consider when even envisioning the prospect of regulating bullying. Does making fun of someone go to the point where they suffer mental distress and even develop suicidal tendencies? If so, you have to regulate it.

What Children Could Do.

Back in my day, when someone had a problem with me, I stepped up and took matters into my own hands. It was all about vigilante justice. I didn't care if I got in trouble trying to step up to a bully- I cared more about defending myself in the face of danger. This is not recommended, though, especially if you end up getting into trouble. Chances are, you AND the bully or bullies can be disciplined. Best thing you could do is get with school faculty to help ease the situation easier and without much backlash.

I'm not going to lie to you- even though I said that I stepped up against bullies at school ready to fight (if I had to), it didn't mean I won all of my battles. I have been beaten a number of times at school when dealing with bullies. I've knocked my head into things several times (including getting punched in the head). A situation like dealing with bullies by yourself is more like your last resort. Taking action into your own hands against people who bully you is a risk you take in defending yourself. But if you want to handle bullies the safe way, communicate with faculty rather than take a chance harming yourself.

What Parents Could Do.

Most important- talk with your children. If you feel your child/children is/are being pushed around constantly, parents will need to chat with teachers and the principal to see how their child/children are affected from bullying. The most important allies you can have are the loving support of your parents.

What You Could Do if Alone (like in college, for example).

It would depend on what environment you are in. If you are in college and living on campus, you'll need to get with campus police or some of your teachers especially if bullying reaches extreme levels. Get with your boss if co-workers bully you around at work. If you're living on your own, you'll mostly need to get with authorities to try to curb any bullying against you.

What You Could Do if Online.

Cyber bullying is the postmodern form of bullying. This is where certain websites and social networking media become grounds for attacking others. Some people post anything disgusting in bullying others. If your social networking medium has some way of quickly reporting offenders, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS. IMMEDIATELY notify authorities of the social networking platform if you are bullied. If someone is making blog posts bullying you, report that blog or certain blog posts to authorities if you feel you are threatened by certain blog posts online. If offensive pictures are posted online, again- contact the authorities of the online network.

As worse as this is YouTube cyber bullying. I love being on YouTube, but I can't stand some of the people who post anything horrible about anyone. It's like you have to be perfect when posting a video on something. If you post a video on YouTube, you are fair game to anyone who loves posting bad comments about you. YouTube cyber bullying can be equally or much worse since you can actually see and hear the people actually bullying you. Worse than that is if people post offensive videos meant to intimidate or threaten you. If this happens, not only contact YouTube, but also try to get with local police.

If you are a younger person getting bullied, make sure a parent or a guardian is on hand to help you in stopping bullying. That parent/guardian bears the responsibility of notifying the website's authorities. More extreme cases may require calling local police to suppress bullies.

What You Could Do if With a Disability.

What if you are being bullied and have some sort of disability? What if you have slurred speech or are unable to defend yourself? Bullying someone with disabilities is even more heartless than almost any other kind of bullying. You have mostly defenseless people who are unable to defend themselves. If in this situation, it is best to have a friend or family member stick up for you and inform authorities. You may not be able to defend yourself strongly, but having someone on hand to help out and stick up for you is your best ally for when you are being bullied.

I could bore you to death with statistics on bullying, but I won't. You can always look up statistics on bullying online to find what you're looking for stat-wise on bullying.

--- The Psychology of Bullying ---

Bullying has its psychology. While I'm no Psychology major, allow me to psychoanalyze bullying and all the nuances of bullying.

To me, bullying has elements of wanting to become popular and respected. One such method is to belittle anyone and everyone not at their level. People who lack respect in themselves feel the need to bully someone just to be popular and feared. Among peers, there is a need for some people to stand out among others. Some stand out by earning others' respect. Some others, however, try to make their premier status known at the expense of lesser people. Some of these lesser people are those who never did anything to harm the person in question. If you aren't provoked, why attack? That is something that befuddles most people who are the targets of bullying.

Another aspect of bullying is for certain bullies to "punish" people who aren't like everybody else. Most bullies have their own standards of what is normal or "cool." Everyone not within the "guidelines" are subject to bullying and ridicule. Most bullies think of themselves highly (delusions of grandeur), so anyone below these standards bullies set is subject to immediate bullying by bullies. Bullies are people who think everyone should be like them (or very close to them). Because of this, anything a bully finds funny or curious about you is likely to get exploited.

--- Final Thoughts on Bullying ---

This is now my commentary piece on bullying.

The Science and Nature of Bullying.

All bullies care about is disgracing people who aren't on their level. Whether bullying for real or for fun (or for being bored), bullying is NEVER cool. Don't listen to all the tough people that you have to boss around people not on your level. Fact is... not everyone is as cool or as popular as you deem yourself to be (if you are a bully). If you just don't like someone for some certain reason, that is perfectly fine. But when your dislike of someone goes to the level of where you have to assert yourself to show your dislike of someone, it is not only classless, but also heartless. There have been many people I have hated in my life. A lot of bullies don't even know me (or think they know me). That is why I hate bullies- they think they know all about you, and they will hate on you just because you're not as cool as that bully or those bullies.

Even back in my school days, I don't care if I wasn't one of the "cool kids." I cared more about just being myself and screwing anyone who doesn't like me. Sometimes, I couldn't even care if people thought of me as a lesser person. I am just me. You can't change who I am. One of the pitfalls of society is that many people prefer everyone to live and be the same way as everybody else. Especially in this day an age, where we feel like there are too many fakes and not as many real people who stand out, we have to find ways to assert ourselves and move up the ladder in life. Bullying is NOT going to do that for you. I try to make myself different in my own ways. I may not be "real" as what people define as "real," but I am definitely myself whether you like me or not. When on YouTube, I have to put up with people who see me as a lesser person or a failure in society. You leave people alone who haven't threatened you or offended you. As I said earlier- do not fight back unless provoked.

Sad reality is... people hate some other people so much to where distress and life-threatening acts become the only way out of being bullied. More people may need to step up. More people may need to take a bigger stand against bullying. Maybe more people should try to find ways to remain positive about themselves rather than try to kill themselves (or be killed by someone else). Bullying is a form of threatening. And when you threaten someone, it sends a message that someone is a failure in society or an unwanted human being. One specific peer should never be above anyone else. There are going to be people who are worse or better than you. If someone is worse than you and hasn't threatened you, bullying only makes you weaker in heart and in spirit. You try to build your power through demoralizing others. That's fine in sports and in business, but NOT in life. Life is not a game or a business. The only loser in bullying is the one who is doing the bullying. You are the loser in all of this because you assert yourself in a negative light just to desecrate somebody. Epic win... bullying loser.

Society vs. Reality.

Everyone is different in many ways. For instance, I mentioned the various kinds of people I've gotten to know. People are people. It isn't as if everybody has to be the same for you to respect other people. We need different people in our lives to show that not everyone is the same and that not everyone should be the same. If we just have a bunch of people with properties society deems acceptable or normal, then (even you haters will admit) everything just seems boring. We would be a people that lack color and purpose. We would be a people that defines acceptability based on qualities society considers acceptable and normal.

So in other words, mainstream society does not want to see a full-figured woman on the cover of Playboy or in Victoria's Secret advertisements. Mainstream society does not want to see people of certain races or cultures achieve superstar status. They also don't want to see anyone gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered/intersexed become any kind of celebrated celebrity. Just because certain harmless people are outside of what is considered acceptable or normal than what the general social public-at-large doesn't qualify for bullying. Some people terribly lack equality and wanting to befriend and help those who aren't at the same level as every other successful member of society. No... bullies always have to belittle anyone harmless or too different to be considered "cool." It's why the sexy girl at school has a better chance of getting a hot boyfriend than the dorky girl who looks nerdy and is super-smart. It is why the attractive girl gets all the attention from boys while the unattractive girl feels more and more lonely. It is why the handsome, hunky boy is so much cooler than the unattractive, out-of-shape boy. Because we spend so much effort trying to fit in than stand out, it becomes tougher for us to stand out and stand among society. So because we are not on the same level as mainstream society, some people feel it is necessary to bully on anyone just because they are outside the boundaries of normality.

It is these actions that make all of us feel sorry for being born if we are constantly being bullied. I'm sorry if I can't be like everybody else. I am sorry if the qualities about myself aren't to the liking of a pop culture person. I am even sorry if my blog and/or YouTube channel are outside the standards of what is considered "cool." Therefore, I am doing my own material my own way whether you like it or not. If I do nothing to harm anyone or if I look a certain way that warrants negative criticism, all you are being is hypocritical. A bully will hate on anyone just because that subject is opposite of what a bully considers normal or acceptable. Well, guess what? NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME! If everyone is the same, and if everyone is what everyone else considers normal and/or acceptable, we just have a society of drones. Everyone is the same with very little to differentiate themselves from one another.

Any bullies there are out there need to really get a grip and understand that not everyone is up to your standards. And just because someone isn't up to your standards, it doesn't entitle you to make fun of a certain person or bully a certain person. You don't have to attack people who haven't offended you or threatened you. It is better disregarding people you don't like rather than have to assert yourself in bullying someone. When you do assert yourself against someone you want to bully, you're running the risk of harming yourself in the long run. Other peers shouldn't have to suffer just to show how *great• you are. You wouldn't want somebody bullying you and making fun of you, so why do this to someone who doesn't deserve being hated on?

Final thought: you wouldn't want somebody bullying you, so why bully somebody else?

--- Thoughts for Victims of Bullying ---

One more commentary piece before I close this blog entry...

I would like to extend my deepest thoughts and prayers to people whom have been killed or committed suicide as victims of bullying. I offer thoughts and prayers to friends, family, and all whom have known and loved bullying victims. That includes recent bullying victims, such as the Rutgers University student who killed himself, the gay teen who killed himself, and others whom recently were killed or died from bullying.

I want to salute everyone who helps to curb bullying and keep bullying targets positive and hopeful. I can't say that I hope you never endure bullying, but I do hope you will be able to take on bullies and keep yourself focused. Just because someone else has a problem with you doesn't mean everybody hates you. Remember to stay strong.

I send my deepest thoughts and prayers to all bullying victims and salute everyone who helps to curb bullying.

--- Resources ---

More online resources could be posted in future edits. Meanwhile, please visit some of the following sites I've found online for you:

Stop Bullying Now! (for kids and adults)
Dealing With Bullies (Dealing With Bullies)
Bullying | American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

More resources could be added in future edits. Please check back into this blog entry for any updates.

Bullying is something that really needs to be curbed before things get worse. No one person shouldn't have to ever endure being bullied. It's too bad that some people have to find any way to punish or dislike anyone just because they are too different and too weird to be "cool." You may hate certain people whom have not harmed you in any way, but God loves everyone regardless of our differences. You (as a bully) are NOT God, so what business do you have bullying and judging others just because they aren't as great as you are? Bullying is like most life-threatening diseases- we can treat bullying, but we will never cure bullying. Just like a disease, bullying does nothing to help anyone. You're lowering yourself in attempts of trying to lower somebody else. So uh... SAY NO TO BULLYING!!! Or let this graphic share it:

Say NO to Bullying!

Please? Similar topics may be posted in the future.

Thank you for reading!

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John B. Marine said...

its a great post !!
very thoughtful !

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