Monday, July 9, 2012

Am I THAT Bad?

John B. Marine | 7/09/2012 01:16:00 AM | | | |
Ever been talked about like you're always wrong? Like you're nothing but a failure? Like everything you do is wrong? If this describes you, you always feel like you're THAT bad to certain people. It's worse when you believe what negative things people say about you. Sometimes, what people say negative about you is true; and these are things you should change about yourself when around certain people. Some other times, you are talked about so poorly in certain weak times, as if you're expected to be perfect or perform even common sense tasks. How poorly you are talked about by loved ones can lead to all sorts of things that are counterproductive and damaging to certain bonds. This blog post is hopefully a chance to offer some kind words if you feel like you are just THAT bad to some people.

--- Am I THAT Bad? ---

Everyone is thought of in various ways by various people. People are loved. People are hated. Some situations arise where we are at our worst. How do some people take things? Some are treated poorly in the wake of certain monkeyshines.

Think of one person. Pretend someone thinks of and unconditionally loves someone. That person is the absolute best when everything is going right. But when something goes wrong- forgets his/her name, fails to perform a common sense activity, forgets how to tie his/her shoes, slip on a banana peel, has a mental lapse, can't count to ten, can't recite the English alphabet, etc.- all of a sudden, that person is the most pathetic waste of humanity. Is this person someone who is a disgrace to humanity all because he/she doesn't want to take part in certain activities or because he/she did something dumb; or is that person only a great person until he/she makes some mistake? Also, how is that mistake taken by the party or parties involved? Does the person have awkward moments uncommon to that person?

Sometimes, this is like some YouTube peoples' comments- expecting people to be perfect to be worth viewing and worth respect. Anything even one percent short of 100% (or more) equates to one feeling like he/she is a total disgrace. A person who knows he/she is better than what people say is someone who feels misunderstood and not as appreciated. This leads to always feeling like nothing ever goes right for that person, or that he/she never can have things his/her way. The people who feel so disappointed know they are better than what negatives people make about them. The big problem is that he/she does not feel able to win the respect of someone either at certain times or at all.

In the case of being with family, someone treated so badly feels like being the family dog. The feeling is that one is bound by a leash or a chain and has no real freedom or independence. You feel like anything you want or any decisions you make mean nothing to other people. Almost as if you have to take certain things and go to certain places whether you like them or not. This feeling leads to being so bad to people that you almost feel punished by doing things you don't want to do. It is bad if you have this way with peers; even worse if you feel this way with family. I think it's worse with family because they are the ones who know and love you most. That is, unless you have a family who couldn't care less about you.

These feelings can lead to increased levels of depression and lowered self-esteem. How much so depends on the severity of the actions and thoughts against you.

--- Effects of Being Talked About So Negatively ---

There are a lot of undesirable elements when being talked about so negatively. Here are some of the many:

Isolation from Others.

You don't feel like being around certain people or participating in certain activities with certain people. You may want to do something, but not want to be with certain people you simply feel damage you. So people begin to isolate from others or not want to partake in certain activities with others. The best way to try to overcome this is to work on making a solid bond or gaining a better understanding. If you can work things out, try to find a way to share your issues with someone and let him/her/them know what their actions do to you.

Lowered Self-Esteem.

When others don't believe in you, you don't believe in yourself. And after every mistake made or with every insult/negative, you dislike yourself more and more because you can't seem to win someone's respect on a consistent basis. People who don't believe in themselves feel like everything works against them and that their own independence means nothing. It also means a person can never make certain people happy or satisfied. Almost as if you have to continually compete and/or reassure a level of tolerance and respect every day. When those efforts fail, so do you. Being broken down and feeling so hopeless just opens the door for lowered self-esteem.

Disregard for What Others Think.

There eventually comes a time when people just don't care about how others perceive them. If you receive a rant, you don't really care because you've heard it all before. Certain YouTube people like to say that I sound like some Microsoft Sam (a text-to-speech computer-generated voice) or that I am retarded. So yeah- you get to feeling like any insult against you is something you're used to. And because you're used to certain insults, you never feel truly satisfied being around certain people.

Personal Unhappiness After Making Mistakes.

You make a simple mistake or fail to do something right... but it feels like you committed a federal crime when someone lashes out at you. That's what it feels like when you did something wrong that is either common sense or not that difficult. You feel more and more like a failure and feel that much more incompetent. In these times, everything you seem to do results in failure and poor judgment. You begin to hate yourself and even hate yourself in the company of certain people. Why fight a battle you know you are going to lose? Why bother? I even believe in doing things anyways in hopes of doing better at something; but sometimes, there's no point trying to fight certain battles you know you stand no chance of winning.

So do you feel bad in the company of others or feel like nothing you do ever matters towards anything? It may be an all-too-common feeling if you are used to being talked about so poorly around certain people.

--- How to Resolve These Matters ---

It depends on who you are around and how you are perceived by some people. Communication with others is the most important way to resolve these issues. You are better off to try to get some sort of understanding rather than hold in your pain to where things get worse. It is worth trying to mend a broken relationship or try to gain a better overall understanding with someone.

Can you try to work with someone to where you can try to develop a better relationship? Or do you need more help or feel like something can be made better through some other method(s)? Maybe the person who you think makes you feel inferior has to change his/her own ways and be more understanding. Maybe you need to be around a better group of people. Whatever the case, it is different for everyone trying to deal with certain people who treat you or think of you so negatively.

Are you THAT bad? Depends on what you define as bad and how much better of a person you feel you truly are as opposed to how you are ultimately perceived.

Please remember that John's Blog Space is a positive space. I care about my readers and want my readers to feel happy being here, even including reading my Life Issue blog posts. Getting views for this topic means much less to me than helping people. I only care about helping people who need the support and need some sort of assistance. So please be happy to be here. I hope my words have helped you if you face this situation.

Thank you for reading!

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John B. Marine said...

BEAUTIFUL text dearest John, greatly written even if it's about one not so nice issue. I recognized in your words the person I was before, and I would add only one thing to those amazing lines. Before we start to think about other people and how we look in their eyes, we should build strong love and confidence in ourselves. If we know who we are and where are we heading to, we will attract better people in our lives!!:)
Happy Monday!!!

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