Friday, June 21, 2013


John Marine | 6/21/2013 08:08:00 PM | | | | |
"Forgive me." "I'm sorry." "I apologize for my actions." These are words often associated with doing something wrong or doing something against our own judgment. We feel we've done something to hurt ourselves as well as deal a hit to our credibility and worth. Forgiveness is begged for when we feel we have done something against our judgment. People ask for forgiveness because we know we are better than what we exhibit at a certain moment or in a certain situation. Depending on who you are or whom you have impacted, forgiveness is one thing; restructuring your credibility is another thing.

This blog post regards forgiveness. Maybe you can take some insight from me and find this post to be of value.

--- Forgiveness ---

Let me set the tone for this blog post. But first, here is a Bible verse (which I rarely discuss on John's Blog Space) I'd like to share:

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

-Matthew 6:14-15

Inspiration for This Post.

Paula Deen, whom I've discussed in this blog post and mentioned in my "Beauties" posts, was recently in the news for using racial slurs after a certain incident that recently occured. The celebrity chef has since apologized for her actions. That, however, wasn't enough for Food Network to renew her contract with Food Network.

I began to think about this recent incident and countless other incidents by people for which forgiving is either easy or complex.

Forgive and Forget?

I am a person who often tries to celebrate and recognize good qualities in people. As much as one may be celebrated for his/her good qualities, negative actions also stay with you. How you ultimately feel about someone or something depends on the weight of one's positives and negatives. A person who may be celebrated in one sense may be hated by others because of certain views he/she makes about other people or what sort of harm he/she has done to someone or something. Certain actions for begging for forgiveness could be from something simple (such as mispronouncing someone's name, forgetting to record a certain show, etc.) to something extreme (such as killing someone/something, molestation, etc.). The gravity of one's wrongdoing lends itself to varying levels of forgiveness.

With the society we live in, we focus more on others' negatives more than celebrate others' good qualities. That applies both in how we view people and even in comedy. Sad how negative or questionable aspects tell more about ourselves to others than our good qualities. That's our negative world for you. Shame.

--- Forgiveness and Rebuilding ---

The quest for forgiveness can be either easy or complex. Pretend a male was exposed in media for beating and battering a female. People will mostly view that male as being a woman-beater, and some may even say he would even beat up his own mother or grandmother. That male would love the opportunity to improve his image and not be seen by others as a woman-beater. How he will able to improve his image and make himself a better person towards others could either be very simple or very complex depending on how others view him. While asking for forgiveness is one thing, of equal importance is rebuilding your image towards others, especially if you know you are a better person than what you have shown in one dark moment.

Let me give you a more realistic example of one's wrongdoing and the push to restructure an image. For most of his time in the National Football League, Michael Vick has been one of the most exciting quarterbacks in the NFL. Many people know of Michael Vick for his great play under center. However in April 2007, Michael Vick was arrested for a dog fighting operation he had set up. Even as people lost respect for Michael Vick, Michael Vick knew he had an image to try to repair after the horrific monkeyshine he committed. So he returned to the NFL after paying his debts to society. While he may not be the electrifying QB of old, at least Michael Vick has repaied his image as a QB in the National Football League and made most people forget about Michael Vick as a dog fighting operator.

Some people may NEVER forgive someone or ever want to be associated with someone as a result of one's wrongdoing. Certain actions are very unforgivable to some people to where people will assume or believe someone will do something bad all the time. For example, someone who loves Amanda Bynes would be disgusted after the actions of Amanda Bynes not very long ago with drug problems and other issues. You may enjoy Chick-Fil-A until you heard about the same-sex marriage controversy that gave a negative image of themselves back in 2012. It all depends on the weight of the wrongdoing and how much that wrongdoing changes your perception of someone or something.

A beautiful thing about life and society is that we may be fortunate to get second chances to try to right any wrongs we have committed. No matter what wrong(s) you may have committed, you have or may have a chance to reverse your wrongs and make yourself a better person for your sake and for others. You can either let certain wrongs define you as a person, or you can learn from your wrongs and make yourself a better person.

Should You Forgive?

If you feel your character and your image have taken a serious hit and that you could do better, then surely apologize. Some people have longer leashes and bigger hearts than others. Some people have more patience than others. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is that you are never going to please everyone. You can only please those whom think strongly of you and that you love and respect. Some people get irrational and want nothing to do with you. I do have a great heart with others. I always say that I try not to forget good people. I try to find goodness within people who come into my life. Maybe sometimes I am too naive, but at least I like thinking positively and holding onto hope.

Forgiving is one thing, but part of forgiving involves rebuilding an image. Some people are fortunate enough to get free passes or extra chances. How one makes up for those extra chances (if forgiven) or restructures an image depends entirely on the person and the wrongdoing committed by that person.

--- Forgiveness: Final Thoughts ---

People will do great things, and then do some very poor things. No one person is ever going to be 100% perfect. No one person is ever going to be that perfect role model or shining example for others to follow. Some negatives that people commit often times bring them down to a level where most people will never look at someone in a positive light ever again. But for as much as we are responsible for all of our actions, we can always seek the opportunity for redemption and repair. It is never the end of life as we know it just because we do something that damages our character. No one good person is automatically bad just because they do one negative thing that is outside of our character. It just means we did one thing outside of who we usually are, and we are asking for forgiveness and hope we are still loved by others who probably expected better of us.

Forgiving and the process of forgiving can either be easy or complex. The most important thing about forgiving others is actually TRYING. You are better off trying to rebuild an image or a loving bond rather than being completely dropped and disregarded. That is unless certain bonds have been severely severed to the point of no recovery. Forgiveness and recovery may not be possible and may not be successful, but it is at least worth a try to forgive and be forgiven. Forgiveness may be a lifelong process or may require a long time of trying to return to one's good graces.

Bonus Commentary...

So I don't forget... I mentioned Paula Deen earlier, which inspired me to blog about this post. I have so much respect for Paula Deen for all she's been through in her life. I still have great respect for Paula Deen despite this poor bit of judgment. I still think she is an inspiration and a heroine.

In case Paula Deen may be reading this, I vastly accept your apology after what you've committed recently. I have too much love and respect to really think of you in any seriously negative light.

Cross-Promotion/Other Reading.

When you make lots of posts in a blog, some get overly forgotten. This is the most relevant post to this topic among my forgotten blog posts. Take a look for a releated subject:

"Second Chances" (John's Blog Space)
^ You may be fortunate enough to get a second chance in life. Sometimes, even multiple chances. This blog post regards second chances.

That will do it for me here.

How do you feel about forgiveness? Feel free to share your thoughts. Thank you for reading!

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