Saturday, February 14, 2015

Weddings and Marriage

John B. Marine | 2/14/2015 09:37:00 PM | | | |
It begins with friends. Friends become lovers. Lovers feel connected. That loving connection then leads to feeling like you've found your better half. When that time of finding your better half comes, it leads to engagement. And then... marriage. Get ready for a blog post featuring one of the biggest topics I will ever discuss. Thoughts and resources will be featured in this blog post. I hope you get to enjoy this post as much as I've given my all in putting it together.

This is actually a topic I actually wanted to blog about for a long time. However, I never completed this blog post no matter how long I've tried to work on it. It is now live on "John's Blog Space!"

Before I Begin- an Honest Truth...

When I do these Love and Relationship posts regarding dating and such... I have NEVER dated anyone or have any sort of relationship experience. Most of my commentary in these topics involves thoughts and impressions I take from things I hear and see. So if you ever wonder about me involving love-related issues, now you know. Also remember that my "Love and Relationships" topics doesn't always involve romantic bonds.

A Special Hello...

I want to send a special hello to those who are married or are getting married any time soon. Congratulations!

Now let's begin this post!

--- Weddings and Marriage: General Thoughts ---

Put a ring on it. Tie the knot. Get hitched. No matter what you call getting married, you know what this post is all about. Time to set the mood here. Here is a picture to do just that (I'll find another image in case I am unable to use the one at present):

weddings and marriage
^ from: (best I could find) - Let's get married! Love among two people can be so strong that couples feel connected and want to live and die together.

How about a little more motivation? Perhaps some musical motivation to get the mood set. Well, here's your musical motivation for this topic right here:

^ "Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married," or if you want to hear the remix, I have this link for you: Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married ft. Reverend Run. I prefer the original, but it's your call.

You're welcome. Now let's move forward!


No matter what the culture, marriage is a tradition and an honor to best be celebrated and honored. It is a celebration of love and the uniting of two parties. Two people share the same love for each other and come together to form one incredible union. People even go to the level of hiring wedding planners and such to help make unique and memorable weddings, as opposed to the usual marriage at a church or a wedding chapel. Also, there are different styles of weddings apart from traditional ones. Not every wedding has to involve lots of white and lots of prettiness. In fact, take Goth weddings, for example. Country folks have themselves weddings where the bride wears a fabulous wedding dress... made out of denim and with the bride wearing a good old pair of cowboy boots. No matter what kind of insane or unusual ideas are prevalent regarding weddings, the main constants are two folks madly in love with each other to the point of wanting to get married.

IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED: If you want to look at an old post I did on different types of weddings, check this out: "What Would Be Your Dream Wedding?" here on John's Blog Space.

Planting the Seeds of Marriage.

Unyielding love for someone is always special. When one feels complete in the loving company of someone, and one feels so happy that he/she wants to be with that person for (hopefully) a long time, this calls for marriage.

There is a need and a desire to want to be together with someone for a long time. There are needs and desires to not only say one loves another, but to prove it for a long time. The key here is commitment. If two are willing to commit for a long time and continually show and prove commitment, then a relationship will last. Otherwise, these are just two friends who really like each other.

Besides the loving aspect of marriage, there are also the financial and legal aspects of marriage. I am no professional at these topics, but I do know you have a lot to consider financially and legally involving marriage.

Do You NEED to Marry?

Some couples just date each other a lot and don't want to be together through marriage. Does it mean a couple doesn't know what they want if they love each other so much but don't want to "put a ring on it" or "tie the knot?" Choosing to get married is not an easy process. You probably don't even know how special someone is to you until you really consider wanting to marry that special someone. Do you sometimes imagine you could be with someone whom you really love or have special feelings for? I'm going to be honest. Back in my days in grade school and in college, there were a number of female friends of mine whom I envisioned marrying one day. I never did any real dating or anything. These were mostly special feelings I had towards a number of female friends.

Some people tend to make marriage to be like an important part of one's life- like graduating from grade school and college. Almost as if you are a failure if you don't marry someone. Someone who may not have much luck marrying someone probably feels incompetent to keep and maintain a healthy relationship with a loving other.

Long story short... you don't NEED to marry someone. However, don't make marriage to be as important as getting a college degree. Don't take it so much as if it is an extremely important life goal.

Why Bother?

There are two strangers madly in love with each other. These two strangers who envision seeing each other together for a long while can imagine coming together in love. It doesn't really matter how two people come together. Despite how two people come together, all that matters is a desire for the couple to come together and share a loving bond.

Marriage, in my opinion, is a feeling in which one really loves being with a certain other so much that two entities want to become one. It is a feeling in which a person could possibly do better finding some other person to love, but he/she feels happiest and most comfortable with one other person whom he/she truly loves. I find it about caring for a certain other person so much that a couple wants to grow old together and work together 'til death do them part. This level of love and dedication is powerful.

I usually think of two people whom are so connected to each other that nobody else matters (except family, of course). It can begin with two who love each other very much or equally. The two begin to love and admire each other and go through a series of ups and downs. One can feel so connected with the other that he/she wishes he/she could be with that loving other for life... or at least, for a very long time.

After having read this, the main question has to be answered- why bother getting married? The general reason to get married is a general love for one another so powerful that the only way to make both sides completely happy is to come together in holy matrimony.

Personal and Social Impacts on Marriage.

I think for some people, there seems to be competition or desire to want to marry someone for status or for personal gratification. Never mind the aspect of being together and wanting to share love among others- some people feel they have to compete to marry the hottest male or the hottest female. Almost as if marriage is a game or a sport. It is NOT! Marrying someone is all about finding someone who makes you happy and complete. The one you want to marry doesn't have to be ultra attractive, highly seductive, or anything like that. If you care anything about marrying someone, let it be with someone who you feel will be the one you love for a long time. Or at least, someone who you feel you can love for a long time.

Also, there is also kind of pressure for some people to seem like they have to marry and be with someone before somebody else. Almost like saying that (for example) it is important that some guy marries this girl before she marries somebody else. An analogy of this mentality would be like saying that wanting to marry someone highly attractive or popular is like trying to find a great parking space- you know there may be several parking spaces, but there is a special one (in your mind) better than all the others. Same mentality applies to wanting to marry the most popular or most appealing person. Some people just feel a certain someone "on the market" is waiting to be married by someone, and you hope you're the one who marries that individual before anybody else picks him/her up.


You know what's cool? Being married to the one you love most. You know what's even cooler? Being married to the one you love most for years. Anything north of five years of marriage is commendable. Heck, I've heard of elderly people whom have been married for over 50 years. Having wedding anniversaries is a tremendous honor. It means that even with good and bad times, your love has held strong. Even complicated relationships that still stand for years on end is worth respect. Don't forget those wedding anniversaries!


I hope marriages go well. But as we all know, not everything lasts forever- marriage included. There may be a time where a loving couple just suffers some sort of snag in which loving spouses just no longer have love for each other. It is a point where attempting to recover and mend a failing marriage seems impossible or highly unlikely. This calls for divorce.

Sometimes... it just doesn't work. That's the fact of life. A failed marriage can almost be like trying to salvage a victory in a sporting event when you are too far back to try to win. It would be like trying to win a gridiron football game being down by three or more touchdowns with two minutes left in regulation. Divorce basically is basically wanting to terminate a failed relationship. While it may seem easy to simply file for divorce, doing so can entail so many more deep layers. Most difficult is when divorce involves children and families. When you want to walk away from a deep marriage, the impact of divorce even impacts children and families, especially marriages that include and involve children. This can provide a pronounced impact on their lives even as a married couple try to work out their differences.

If there are marital problems, it is best to seek marriage counseling. You are better off making an appointment with marriage counselors rather than have divorces escalate to dangerous levels- such as domestic violence or injury/death.


Just as worse as divorce is being widowed. This is where the one you love is deceased. You basically either want to be single or try to find a new spouse. Whichever direction you go in this situation is up to you.

LGBT Marriage (Bonus Topic!).

The LGBT community has been certainly in the news a lot in recent times. Among one of the big issues is the notion of same-sex marriage. The United States has long defined marriage as a loving bond between a man and a woman. Recent times, however, have been more accepting towards same-sex couples. One of the biggest news stories paving the way for happier marriage among the LGBT community is that of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) being struck down in 2013 in allowing for couples to have the same sort of legal rights as any heterosexual married couple.

I know a lot of my audience probably have their like or dislike of the LGBT community. But in the perspective of expressing as many different topics as possible, this is a key topic as it relates to marriage. Love between two people is love between two people regardless of ethnicity or sexual orientation or other factors.

The final part of this deal is a collection of my final thoughts regarding weddings and marriage.

--- Weddings and Marriage: Final Thoughts ---

I have never been in any real relationship or anything. All I do know is that if I do get entrenched in being in some loving relationship, I know I will want to take my time knowing someone before wanting to commit. Being married is something to savor and enjoy should you ever get to love someone with all of your heart to where you want to commit long time to the one you love most. It is a responsibility to carry with you for a long time. Sometimes, however, marriage doesn't last forever, and they don't always work well. Some things just weren't meant to be. If that (sadly) includes your marriage, it is best to seek something like marriage counseling to help you deal in rough times of marriage. Don't take matters into your own hands that lead to negative scenarios like domestic violence.

Weddings themselves don't have to be plain and common. Some people spice things up and try unique (and sometimes unusual) situations and scenarios for marriage. Regardless, what is most important is the love between two people who want to be together for a long time in loving matrimony.

Most of all, enjoy marriage. Treat your significant other or better half (or whatever you endear your spouse as) with love and respect. Don't test the waters of infidelity or philandering (cheating). Be true to one another and work to make each loving day count. It takes a second to say "I love you," but a lifetime to prove your love. Once again- congratulations to all whom are currently married or soon to be married.

Cross-Promotion/Other Reading.

Here are a few more related topics that may interest you:

"What Would Be Your Dream Wedding?" (John's Blog Space)
^ This post takes a look at the different kinds of weddings.

"Wedding Hairstyles" (John's Blog Space)
^ When "John's Blog Space" was made popular through fashion blog posts, this was one of my most popular posts. This post is about wedding hairstyles for brides. Expect to potentially see this topic on "StyleSpace by JBM" in the future.

"Will You Marry Me?" (John's Blog Space)
^ This is a post about wedding proposals.

"When is the Right Time?" (John's Blog Space)
^ When is it the right time to commit to the one you love most? I provide my insight in this very old blog post.

"Same-Sex Relationships" (John's Blog Space)
^ Love is love between heterosexual couples and LGBT couples. This post features insight and thoughts on same-sex relationships.

"Domestic Violence" (John's Blog Space)
^ I mentioned a not-so-nice topic here in this post: domestic violence. This post represents one of the worst things that can happen in any loving relationship- violence and abuse among couples.

Thank you for visiting "John's Blog Space." I hope you find my other posts to be as enjoyable as this one you just read.

Just So You Know...

I had attempted to discuss wedding planning and fashion-related material on weddings and marriage. However, I will discuss (especially fashion) aspects of weddings and marriage on "StyleSpace by JBM." Stay with my blogging work for more information and for whenever I eventually complete material on that topic.

Would you like to discuss this topic? Here is a question I have to share:

What are your general thoughts regarding weddings and marriage? If you are married or engaged, what do you think is most important in being married? What are the biggest responsibilities (to you) on marriage?

That concludes this blog post. I may enhance it further with more material in future edits. Be sure to check this post out in the future for any updates. Look for the "(UPDATED: (some date))" indicator at the top of the blog post in case an update is made. Anyhow, I wanted to make this post for a long time but never completed it until now. Glad I did. Go have a great day/night and thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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John Marine said...

Oh my goodness, thank you so much John! I'm really honored that you've dedicated a post to me. I'm so grateful and blessed to have made such a kind, thoughtful, and positive blogging friend. Your insightful and genuine comments and interesting posts are such a breath of fresh air in the blogging world. Keep being fabulous you!

John Marine said...

Love this post and the song! Compliment!

Wait you on my blog for a new post:

Kisses Andy

John Marine said...

I do agree with you that people often get married for the wrong reasons...and sometimes they stay married for the wrong reasons. However, marriage can be a wonderful thing...but only if both persons are equally committed. I think the most important thing in marriage is not to take the other person for granted. Everyone always says that, but it's really true. Marriage like every relationship is something that needs to be maintained, something that is dynamic and not static.

LEN K said...

NIce post!
I totally agree with you. Love your writing as well/

John Marine said...

Love is sacred! To many it's a game! Beautiful post!



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