Having any reason to celebrate anything is common. Having parties to celebrate is also common. Almost anything can be a thing for partying- even including the gender of unborn children. Yes, gender reveal parties are a thing. It's a celebration of giving birth to either a boy, a girl, or perhaps multiple offspring. They are a thing, but what do I think about such parties? I am here to offer my thoughts in this blog post on gender reveal parties.
My Thoughts on Gender Reveal Parties
^ from: (Amazon) - What do you think about gender reveal parties? Does it matter the gender of unborn children?
Celebrating the gender of an unborn child is a thing. There are two dynamics to most gender reveal parties- (1) simply learning the gender of unborn children, and (2) making a gender reveal a guessing game. There are people whom even offered ideas for gender reveal parties. I will discuss gender reveal parties in two distinct talking points. So please consider the following...
Gender Reveal Parties: General Thoughts.
One of the biggest fallacies of gender reveal parties is simply the fact of simply having them. What is worth celebrating in regards to the gender of a child or children? I apologize for being old-fashioned and boring, but I don't get the point of having a party to reveal an unborn child/-ren's gender. These kinds of acts are somewhat counteractive in today's culture being more accepting of LGBT types can in past times. We live in a culture where we are either more mindful of gender or we better embrace gender neutrality. Having gender reveal parties work against today's modern thoughts and times.
People do try to make things less boring in determining the gender of an unborn child. For most people, simply having children is enough to feel happy about in becoming parents. However, you have people who want to make things more interesting by doing all kinds of stunts and making a not really big deal a big deal regardless. Parties are about celebrations of things. What message do you think you are sending by having some party just to celebrate the gender of unborn children? If you want to celebrate something while pregnant, reserve parties for baby showers or maybe if you have a birthday or an anniversary while pregnant.
Another fallacy is that perhaps later on in life, a child may experience feelings of gender dysphoria, maybe want to be transgender, or maybe consider himself gender neutral. So a child born as a boy may see pictures of his parents having some cute celebration to reveal the parents had a boy. This could possibly make the boy feel unhappy about himself and decide to want to be more feminine or even consider himself gender neutral. The boy may want to start wearing girly clothes, start wearing some makeup, all to feel a lot more different even born as a male. One very rare possibility of gender reveals is that a child may be born intersex or perhaps have a few chromosomes which puts the child in-between male and female.
One other possible negative to gender reveal parties is the fact that you are celebrating having a certain child/-ren of a certain gender. It somehow isn't enough for most people to simply be proud of being parents- they have to stretch things out to the point of having a party to reveal the gender of a child or children. Forget being proud to give birth; some people feel they have to do all these stunts and play these guessing games about the gender of unborn children. Speaking of guessing games...
Gender Reveal Parties: The "Guessing Game" Aspect."
Now on to the other aspect of gender reveal parties- having guests play a game of determining what gender one's unborn child/-ren will be. It is a nice way to get people in kind of a playful and fun mood; however, it can also be pretty stupid. It's like when I am on social media and people ask questions like, "when are you going to get married?" Either that or, "when are you going to have children?" What business do you have in wondering what gender a child will be? For example, is it important that a pregnant woman who gave birth to a baby boy has a girl instead of another boy? Is it also sad if that pregnant woman is unable to make a girl or another boy? If you're going to have something like this for gender reveals, it is pretty dumb to play a guessing game for what the child's gender will be.
I say simply enjoy becoming a parent in the first place instead of trying to make things fun by guessing what gender a child will be. If I was a pregnant woman, I'd be proud simply to be able to give birth to children instead of celebrating the gender of unborn children. I at least would want to know the gender of my unborn child/-ren rather than have a party focused on a gender reveal.
Now that you have read my thoughts on gender reveal parties, it is time to close this post with a complete summary of my thoughts on gender reveal parties.
Gender Reveal Parties: Final Thoughts
Celebrate that you are becoming a parent (or at least an uncle/aunt). Celebrate bringing a child into the world. However, having a celebration for identifying the gender of unborn children just sounds stupid and attention-grabbing to me. You are not a celebrity. It isn't like TMZ or somebody are following you around wondering what gender your unborn child/-ren will be. There is no need to stretch out a pregnancy like this. It is even sad there are party planners even offering gender reveal party items to this. I guess if it means making money, then anything will be tried.
If you are going to have children, it is enough to simply learn of the gender of a child or children. You don't need to have a celebration for whatever gender your children will be. It is not required for you to host a party simply on the merits of learning the gender of unborn children. I am not saying that you should not be proud of knowing if you have a boy or a girl or not- I am just suggesting you don't need to have any kind of cute/fancy party to honor the gender of unborn children.
At least to me, gender reveal parties are rather unnecessary and most importantly... not worth any kind of celebration. A gender reveal party is not a party worth celebrating. Save parties for things like birthdays, graduation, weddings, anniversaries, family reunions, and things of that nature. If you disagree with me and my thoughts in regards to gender reveal parties, and maybe you had some little party to celebrate the gender of an unborn child, that's perfectly fine. I am not here to tell people how to live their lives or make certain decisions. All I am saying is that gender reveal parties are silly and unnecessary.
Extra Perspectives.
I offered my thoughts, but what do others think? Here are more perspectives:
In researching this topic, I learned of one gender reveal party that got violent. There was one gender reveal party I learned of in which someone was shot and killed, and there were eight others injured. So there is another bit to add in regards to gender reveal parties.
That's the end of this post. Let's discuss!
What do you think about gender reveal parties? Have you been to or hosted a gender reveal party? What would you suggest to any future gender reveal parties?
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Yesterday, my family had a dinner at my grandmother's house a day before her birthday. What was to be just a little get-together ended up becoming a family reunion and lots of memories for me and my family. It makes me fortunate having a loving family and that we all came together for a day of fun- outside of filling our bellies with good food, of course. :) So this blog post is about reminiscing about the past with families and some other different issues.
--- Family Get-Togethers ---
You already got an idea of what I was discussing just by reading the introduction. But really, this get-together my family recently had meant much more to me than just some get-together.
My family usually gets together for certain lunch occasions and for things like Thanksgiving and such. What made this most recent get-together special was that there was really a sense of generational leaps as well as some reunions. People in families do move on with their lives and go elsewhere; but regardless, you still have family and loving family members. Friends come and go; family is forever.
Perhaps the best aspect of family get-togethers is in seeing generations come along. Some people you grew up with in your family moved on with their lives and had children. You then have your younger generation extending the family and family name. This is a fabulous time to see the past, present, and future of a family.
Fortunate Families.
I really think about certain families and why we should be fortunate. Think about families and family members who have a tough time bonding together and spend more time fighting each other (verbal and even physical) than coming together in a joyous setting. I watch a lot of daytime talk shows and see episodes where families are in crisis. Some families have issues of sex, drug abuse, neglect, financial issues, and things like that.
Besides having families, there are those who simply don't have a family- or at least don't have a loving and trusting family. A lack of trust and/or love is just as rough as not having a family at all. It means there is some sort of unrequited love among family members. It means some family members are unable to try to get along at all. When you feel your best friends are your family, and if you feel your family doesn't necessarily love you, you feel worthless. It therefore gets to be tough trying to bond with family members you don't feel connected to.
Bringing Families and Family Members Together.
It can be tough for families to come together when there is so much hate or no common bond that brings everyone together. The common bond for my family yesterday was in celebrating my grandmother's birthday the day before her actual birthday. Some families may or may not have something to bring everyone together safely and flawlessly. Some family members maybe just aren't around to come together for a certain occasion. It just isn't as easy for some families to come together for an occasion. Some families may even come together, but something may happen to where an argument or some sort of scuffle ensues.
Where is the love? Some families have love; some others don't. It all depends on the family members and how everyone gets along- IF they get along. Dysfunctional families will have a tough time to try to get together. Regardless, nothing is more special than families coming together, especially for something like a dinner or some other kind of positive get-together.
Memories.
Being at my grandmother's house and having this get-together, it really filled a personal void that brought me down in recent years. I missed those days when me and my family would all be at my grandmother's house for certain get-togethers and Thanksgiving and such. I would be playing video games against my family members. I would probably go watch a sports game on TV or something. I just mostly missed certain good times with my family. Also, since most of my youth was spent living with and being around my grandmother, I guess I also miss most of my youthful days. I was even chatting with some family looking back at the past. One thing discussed was how much times have changed- especially where children don't want to get out of the house and play anymore. We've come to the futuristic times where more fun is had at home with devices and TV rather than getting out in the driveway and doing things like running around on the driveway and on the front lawn. I even thought of TV shows I watched in my youth.
Another striking aspect of this get-together was simply about remembering what has changed between now and then. I remember just how much different my grandmother's house looked compared to now as well as what the neighborhood looked like back then compared to now. I even think about what certain parts of the neighborhood were like then compared to now. For example- there were parts of the neighborhood I recall for things like where my mother would park at to catch the school bus. I do still remember where the house my biological father was working on. I even still recall the path I took to walk from my Middle School to my grandmother's house one time. I mean, you feel reminiscent when you've spent a great deal of your life in one place and have so many memories to share.
I think this, more than anything, was what I enjoyed most about this specific family get-together as opposed to any other get-together previously. It was the combination of memories and getting together with others that made this outing special for me.
When doing family get-togethers, the most important thing is family. It is always great to go to places where you've spent a good majority of your childhood and for family to come together happily. Share the memories and perhaps be reminiscent. But always remember- family is forever. I hope all of you have great family get-togethers and that all goes well with your family get-togethers.
Want to discuss? Here's my question:
What do you admire or respect most about family get-togethers?
Feel free to comment. And once again, thank you for reading!
When someone "comes out," he/she announces and admits being gay. Why is this a big deal? Most people feel hateful or intolerant of people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or whatever. Acceptance of one's gay lifestyle can be a difficult task. Some people may never want to associate with or be around certain gay people- even friends and family! Considering that people can have strong hostility towards those who are gay or transgendered, there are two parts of "coming out"- the actual coming out and seeking acceptance. This blog post is a look at "coming out" and trying to get accepted by others.
BEFORE I BEGIN...
As with all of my posts in this category under the LGBT label, I would like to send a special welcome to everyone among the LGBT community who may be reading "John's Blog Space." All of my material and commentary are provided for educational and helpful purposes. "John's Blog Space" is not any kind of humor site, and I make sure to provide useful and respectful material while paying proper respect to certain subjects involved.
I would like to stress that this blog post does not have anything to do with me "coming out" about anything. I'm providing this post as a look at coming out from a number of perspectives.
WARNING: Due to the subject matter of this topic, some of the material featured may not be suitable for all audiences. You are reading and viewing this topic at your own discretion.
--- Coming Out ---
If it were easy to announce being gay and be accepted, then there would be no need to want to be accepted- because we would be accepted with little or no protest and with no regret of the consequences for coming out. But as with many things in life and society, not everyone takes even the simplest things lightly. Most people make mountains out of molehills (so to speak). The topic of coming out to others is especially one of grave concern to those involved. Some people who are gay feel as if they committed a crime worthy of being incarcerated in federal prison; and if they confess their gay or transgender ways to loved ones, people feel they will lose the ones they love most. It is not a crime or anything illegal to be gay or transgender. When someone feels they have skeletons in the closet (so to speak), they feel the need at some point to confess their gay tendencies and their most intimate emotions and feelings in being gay. This is the "coming out" process that can seriously alter or affect relationships with others. Some people may be understanding. Some others may be disgusted and may not be so understanding. The most important phase of "coming out" is actually releasing and confessing rather than just hold in your thoughts and emotions.
The Anatomy of Coming Out.
Being gay is NOT a choice. It isn't funny or comical to want to be gay. It isn't a switch that you can just turn on or off. It is not a disease. There may be certain situations which may seem homosexual in nature (like romantically touching or kissing someone of the same sex), but being TRULY gay goes much deeper than anything really casual or comical in regards to LGBT matters.
Being gay or transgendered is the result of personal feelings ranging from comfort to certain mental aspects. A certain person may have deep personal feelings towards wanting to be involved in same-sex relationships or conduct himself/herself in a way mainstream society may readily disapprove. A person who is wanting to come out feels the need to tell people of his/her gay or transgender tendencies. He/She may feel the need to release his/her innermost feelings and passions after holding them in for so long. For example- a male may enjoy having stronger romantic tendencies towards other males than with females. A female may enjoy the romantic company of another female more than with males. A bisexual person may equally enjoy the company of both males and females. Some people may be sexually aroused at thoughts or visions of erotic or appealing images of one's same sex. Someone transgender may feel trapped in the wrong body and want to emerge as someone of one's opposite gender. But until someone actually "comes out," these are all just deep feelings.
So when someone comes out on these issues, a major release is made. It takes courage to let out these gay or transgender intentions rather than hold them in for so long. Letting these innermost feelings remain in you only fester to the point where they take over your life. Here is an analogy about "coming out" for you. If you're trying to "come out," you are like a boat or a ship- you want to set sail and venture out on the water, but you docked by the anchor of your own gay or transgender feelings. The only way you can go on your journey on water is if you let go of that anchor so you can sail the seas. Letting the anchor loose in this analogy is one's "coming out."
When is it Time to "Come Out?"
The best time to "come out" is when you have held in your own gay or transgender tendencies long enough to want to proudly portray your gay or transgender pride to the world. It should be reserved for a time where you feel weak after holding in something like this for so long to where it is eventually time to announce being gay or transgender. It is not only about announcing these feelings to others, but also about living with and enduring these LGBT lifestyle changes.
Coming out, however, shouldn't be a confession. The decision to "come out" shouldn't be the result of being under pressure because of suspicions one may have of one being gay or transgender. One should be able to announce being gay or transgender when he/she feels most comfortable and ready to express these feelings; not at a time to be confronted. There may be a time where someone may be caught in the act being gay or transgender, but the best time to come out is when one announces and exposes their innermost gay feelings and tendencies. It shouldn't have to be at a candid moment.
One should be comfortable enough to be able to act out and live with certain decisions made. That even includes being involved in gay and transgender matters. Many of our lifestyle habits and decisions come with their own consequences no matter what they may be in whatever lifestyle habits or choices we make or live by. That even includes certain decisions in being gay or transgender. Someone who is gay may want to openly flirt with and be romantically involved with same-sex partners. Someone who is transgendered wants to enjoy dressing up as and living as a member of the sex different from one's birth gender. "Coming out" in these situations involves letting one's true feelings emerge so one can enjoy being gay and/or transgendered. A person can only hold in such feelings for so long until feeling the need to finally confess to loved ones of his/her gay or transgender intents.
Why Would Someone Make a Big Deal About Coming Out?
...because it IS a big deal! Someone may be disrespected for a long time. Someone may end up losing the ones they love most. Announcing these sorts of things can be detrimental to the love and respect of others. To those hateful of LGBT people, you may think I'm just making excuses. Fact is- these people fear they will lose the love and respect of others simply because of announcing being gay. The one thing people fear most is losing the ones they love most because of something like being gay. It is almost like being punished for a crime you didn't commit. That's why it is so important to "come out" rather than be caught in the act or have to confess something you are not comfortable to confess about in a most inconvenient time.
Potential Consequences of Coming Out.
One may be ridiculed and hated on by loved ones. If the person who comes out says this to family he/she lives with, a chance may be run of that person being kicked out of the house or have to live someplace else. Certain friends may think of one differently and may end up losing friends. If a person is so hateful of coming out as he/she intended, being lonely and depressed will also result from this. Some gay and transgender people may even be bullied by others. At the very worst, some people may be so depressed and lonely that they inflict serious damage or injury or at the most extreme- even commit suicide. It is a potentially life-altering decision to want to "come out" to others. However, letting these intents out is better than storing them in for so long to where you can't live a healthy life.
In some cases, being gay or transgender can even take on religious connotations. So if you are very religious or come from some sort of religious background, coming out can be very damaging from a religious standpoint.
So, uh... yeah. Coming out is a big deal.
--- Coming Out: The Quest For Acceptance ---
As mentioned in the introduction, coming out involves both actually "coming out" and trying to be accepted. Here are two schools of thought:
Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Acceptance.
What if you wanted to come out to announce being gay? What if you prefer to be openly gay or prefer the romantic company of same-sex partners? This can be difficult to ask for acceptance from loved ones if you came out to the ones you love. It can be even more difficult wondering if people will ever accept you or think of you positively after coming out. People may possibly make jokes about you or harass you for being gay. More accepting people would appreciate and respect your opinions. People don't have to like or accept gay people or gay lifestyles, but at least seeing the good in someone despite one's lifestyle of choice is reassuring to someone who came out.
Transgender Acceptance.
What seems equally as difficult in "coming out" is in transgender acceptance. This is where "coming out of the closet" comes into play. People who want to be accepted for their transgendered ways try to hope loved ones accept the person for wanting to be transgender. Being a transgendered person can mean one of two things- someone may feel the desire to become either a part-time or full-time (through surgery) member of one's opposite sex. Or, someone may feel born in the wrong body and want to have surgery done to become a full-time member of one's opposite gender. Either way, it is tough to consider being any capacity of transgender; and therefore, looking to be accepted as someone transgendered is no easy task. It is not only a difficult task for wanting to be transgender to some capacity, but it can also be a problem both financially and health-wise, especially if seeking surgery or wanting to take on hormone therapy.
In terms of the desire to come out as someone transgender, the toughest task is in trying to convince others to accept your ways. A transvestite (clinical term for a crossdresser) is someone who feels the desire to act as and become a part-time member of one's opposite sex. They do not want to be full-time members of one's opposite sex. Instead, they enjoy acting as and being members of one's opposite sex. A person who desires to be a transsexual- a full-time member of one's opposite sex may opt to have surgery and various other procedures to transition into becoming that full-time member of the opposite sex.
The stronger case for coming out would be for those seeking to become transsexual. In addition, it is also the tougher case for not only acceptance, but actually wanting to go through with all the individual elements to successfully transition from one's birth gender to being one's opposite gender. Either way, trying to gain acceptance as a transgender is actually a good bit tougher than gay acceptance.
All that is asked for is acceptance of these lifestyle changes. Some will get that acceptance; but many others may not be so fortunate. It all depends on whom you are around and how accepting they will be of you.
--- Coming Out: Inspirations ---
If you are a normal reader of my fashion blog- "StyleSpace by JBM," you know I may link to certain blog posts online relevant to the topic. Well here, I decided to share some insight on other people whom have "come out" in some way. I actually wanted to be diverse in providing these inspirations. I had intended on finding blogs in addition to videos, but I will only feature videos. The inspirations here come from videos. Click on the link below the videos to see them on YouTube if you're unable to view embedded material in your browser.
Here are video inspirations on "coming out." Some of these videos are rather long, so you may probably want to view them on YouTube rather than just see them here in my blog post. Most of the videos contain some bad language. Be mindful of this if you are easily offended by such bad language.
• A Gay Coming Out Story
The first video I'll share is from GregoryGORGEOUS. The very popular Canadian YouTuber is best known for his makeup and fashion advice. I have even featured him in a few of my posts here on "John's Blog Space" and on "StyleSpace by JBM." Here, though, GregoryGORGEOUS shares his coming out story in this video (WARNING: some bad language in this video):
Honestly... whether you like this guy or not, you have to respect him for sharing his views and just simply being himself.
• Lesbian Coming Out Stories
Remember I said I wanted to be diverse? Well, after sharing a male story, I wanted to share a video of a lesbian "coming out." This lady's story can be checked out below:
So there is a more comical look at coming out. Comical, but still very real.
• A Bisexual Coming Out Story.
There may be a special reason why I am featuring this video. That reason is to show that you can be VERY young and feel the need to come out. This girl is only 13 years old as of this video and came out to people. So please take a look at this video. If you learn ANYTHING from this video, learn that you can never be too old or too young to develop and experience these LGBT feelings (WARNING: a little bad language):
I wanted to feature both a bisexual male and a bisexual female, but I ultimately decided to feature just this video.
• A Transgender Coming Out Story
Finally, here is some transgender coming out inspiration. Remember that coming out transgender can be not only difficult, but potentially a financial situation. The video below is good enough evidence of this:
I found it extremely hard to believe she used to be a boy. She's freaking cute!
These videos are examples of what it is like to consider or think about in regards to "coming out." I provided these videos just to show you that coming out is not easy, and that these are real people sharing real problems in real situations. Let their experiences help you if you are in this situation of wanting to "come out" to others.
--- Coming Out: Final Thoughts ---
There is nothing wrong with being gay or transgender. What becomes a problem is in "coming out" to loved ones. You may fear they will hate you for what seems like forever. But if certain people are accepting of you even after coming out, you should truly be thankful and fortunate. No matter what you think of gay or transgender people, they are still people. Maybe you don't buy into their lifestyle or their ways. Maybe you can't tolerate people being gay or transgender. It takes bravery to want to "come out." It takes even more bravery to be able to "come out" while also accepting any and all consequences of coming out- especially as it involves being accepted by others. If you feel the need to "come out," do so when you reach a point where you ultimately want to confess what you've been hiding as far as gay and/or transgender feelings and passions are concerned. If you just keep these feelings in, you are only festering the problem and further letting these feelings take over your life. So at some point, you need to "come out" when the time is right.
If you don't become accepted by loved ones after "coming out," it is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of life as you know it. Some people may not accept you right away. Some may never accept you. If anything, you've done something admirable- acknowledge and accept something you feel you may not proud of confessing towards others, like admitting and confessing about your gay and/or transgender feelings and emotions. If a person's heart really means something to you, accepting someone's coming out will make a world of a difference in the life of someone who feels broken down holding in these gay/transgender feelings. Can you look within someone who "comes out" and realize they are the same person you've known and loved for some amount of time, or do you cut someone out of your life just because of his/her coming out?
A person- regardless of being straight or gay- is still a person. They breathe the same air that we do, interact in the same world we live in, communicate the same way other humans do... what makes gay and/or transgender people any different? They are still people just like the rest of us. A person just can't think of someone as a total outcast from society just because of being gay or transgendered. That is why "coming out" bears great importance in helping move on with our lives while also properly releasing our gay or transgender feelings and emotions rather than just hold these feelings in to where they interfere with us living healthy lives.
When the time is right, or when it is time to finally confess; "come out" with confidence. You may or may not get the answers or responses you may be hoping for, but it is at least worth trying. In addition, at least it is better to release and confess your innermost and intimate gay and/or transgender feelings and emotions, rather than just letting them fester and control your life.
Good luck to all of you who may be looking to "come out" to people you love most. I hope the ones who you come out to are able to accept you and love you as much as (or even more so) as before coming out. What do you all think about "coming out" to others, or how did you respond if someone may have "come out" to you? I hope this blog post was to your liking and that I could possibly help or motivate any of you in this situation. Thank you for reading!
When you meet people, or at least when I meet people in person or online, I always tend to think of others' dreams or problems. I feel the best way to win one's respect is to offer hope and good fortune towards dreams, and working with people who may have certain problems. I always say that if you are able and capable to help others with problems that others have disclosed, do your best to provide calming and respectful words to others. Someone may have visions of greater things and reaching certain long-term goals. Maybe someone is already working towards those long-term goals but may need a little motivation. So what you can do is think of someone and their goals and offer some great words. And of course- if you can help in helping someone reach those long-term goals, do your best to offer your support.
This is one of my positive-themed posts where I just want to tell loyal and respectful people:
I want the best for you.
Allow me to go further with this point.
--- I Want the Best For You. ---
If there are people you care about and who have allowed themselves to be cared for, what you want is for people to succeed in almost anything they set their mind and heart to. I even want people who hate me [for whatever reason] to accomplish their goals. This is a world driven mostly by negativity. Few people want to offer kindness. It's mostly a world where personal gain and personal greed are more important than offering any sort of solace or respect towards other people. Some people in life are never given enough opportunities to allow themselves to shine. Some people never feel important no matter how hard they try. And of course, there are people who think everyone online is fake and that nobody truly cares about anybody.
You need to think again if you think I am one of those people who don't care about my audience. I follow many peoples' blogs and think kindly of my fans, friends, and family. I recently personally offered kind words via E-mail to certain bloggers I follow. I want people to succeed in life in various other industries and arenas. There are people I sometimes think about the more I see them online or in real life. Honestly, I wish I could help everyone whom I even remotely cared about and even remotely love/respect. That is not humanly possible, however. I know only so much about dreams others have and problems they wish they could resolve. Reading some blog posts and online status updates, I often wish I could help certain others if I had the capability and ability to resolve certain matters certain people may have. There have been certain people whom have disclosed in blog posts about being hated on by others. Some people feel like they get more haters than loyal and respectful people. While it is always okay to disagree with others, it is NOT okay to treat someone like a dartboard while haters just throw their proverbial darts at you.
Long story short- I try to think of many people and offer my best wishes and kindest regards to people whom I care about. You may not see it. You may not know it. Regardless, I am thankful for many people whom I've come across in person and online. I don't want to be one's absolute best friend, but I at least want to show and prove I have a true heart and great hope for others to accomplish their goals.
I Want the Best For You: Defined.
Let me demonstrate what I mean in saying "I want the best for you" for a moment:
• I want school/college students to graduate. Even if you are not a good student, at least you can be done with school/college by graduating. I was not the best student in any of my classes, but I at least graduated. I'm proud to do so.
• I hope a couple who loves each other is able to get married and enjoy lifelong love.
• I wish for financially struggling people and families can resolve their financial difficulties.
• I hope expecting parents will be well and healthy to deliver birth and take care of their children. I'm hopeful the father will be alright. I am hopeful the mother can remain healthy and strong to successfully deliver birth. Speaking of birth, I can only hope the baby/babies can be healthy. I would be saddened to hear of any stillborn babies or whatever.
• I want children to be able to live happily and healthy for a long time.
• For people who have dreams of greatness, I want people to be able to live out and enjoy being great.
• Those with burning dreams of starting something they've long wanted to do or establish, I want those dreams to come true. And for those who establish a business or whatever, I want that business to thrive as best as they can.
• I want those who face multiple problems to be able to live easier and happier from their problems. While it is okay and normal to have problems, it is nice to know that one can still be and live happily.
Part of this mindset also involves already-successful people to be even more successful. An example would be for a little-known musician or group to perhaps have something like a World Tour or have greater fame than they have ever received.
A Special Salute...
In my blogging on "John's Blog Space," there was one fellow who thought of me in some of his rough times. His name is Warren, and his blog is called "24k Forever!!!" The reason why I want to pay respect to him in this blog post is because I think of him often times as he faces some of his own personal demons. His blog mostly talks about some of life's problems and links them to certain songs, usually classic rock or a handful of other oldies.
If Warren himself is reading this blog post, let me say that even though I don't visit your blog often, I do think of you and regard you as a very special person. You didn't have to open up to me, but you did. All I've wanted for you ever since is the very best life can offer. The world has many negative people and negative things. However, your unique approach in blogging about life and connecting these issues with music is worthy of respect. Just the ability to disclose these things alone takes bravery. If anything, you should be credited for offering something special to the Internet. As with most bloggers or video makers, not as many are blessed to get so much attention from the general public-at-large. I am nowhere near a blogging superstar. I used to get at least 2K or even 3K blog hits daily. Nowadays, my views are in the range of 1K to 1.5K daily (if I'm fortunate to surpass 1.5K). Still, I have great respect for you and all you do, Warren. Please take care, and I wish you the very best life has to offer.
If you would like to visit Warren's blog, you can visit (or even follow) by clicking on this link: 24k Forever!!!!.
--- Final Thoughts ---
I want the best for everyone. Some people may wonder why I even bother making posts like this when more people care about viral video material or Internet memes. I actually care about the many people who visit my blog or my YouTube channel. Think about it for a moment. Anyone can grab your E-Mail address and spam the crap out of you, or even put your material in suspicious web searches. People will be willing to find ways to hate on you or spam you. However, not as many people want to treat others like they actually matter. Not as many people want to try to make positivity viral (hmmm... not a bad idea! :D). If my blog didn't matter, then I would have given up on this a long time ago. If my attempts to try to offer something positive and inspirational didn't mean anything, then I wouldn't open up the way I do.
People have aspirations and dreams. The least I can do and hope for is for those aspirations to come true. The least I can do is hope people can live happier and healthier and be financially stable. Since I can't help everyone's problems, my best method of encouragement is to offer kind and calming words to help others with their issues. Words heal just as much as actions do. I want the best for everyone. I want the up-and-coming singer from Small Town America to become a Grammy-winning superstar. I want the prospective fashion designer to be one of the finest in the business. I want the person who may have unusual or deadly health issues to live a happy and healthy life while changing the world for the better. I want people to make the impossible possible. One last time and with passion:
I WANT THE BEST FOR YOU!!!
I really do because I really care and think about loyal people who respect and interact with my work.
More than ever, thank you for reading! I hope I have brightened your day/night some with these kind words from me to you.
In life, not everything goes right the first time. A sad part of life is that we get only one chance at certain things. Life and living are so precious. At times, we wish to have second chances to promise to ourselves and to others that we will do better than previous times suggest. Some of us are fortunate enough to get second chances. Some of us- Heaven forbid- get second, third... seemingly infinite chances. So the thought of this blog post is about second chances. I invite you to read on and have a look at thoughts I have to share here.
Before I begin, you may note I've set up a little theme so far- from first impressions to second chances. I intended to do this brief theme. Welcome to John's Blog Space! Subscribe and Follow if you enjoy my work!
--- Second Chances in General ---
Why do we offer second chances or request second chances? The biggest reason why is because with people we love or want to impress, we've done wrong. It means we can do better than what our first efforts have shown. Wanting/Granting second chances means we want opportunities to show improvement and to assure others of our talents. When we make negative first impressions or spontaneous thoughts on someone or something, part of us believe in our hearts that something can really be better than what we initially believe. So we wish to give something a second chance if we were not impressed on the first time around. MAYBE things will be better and MAYBE something really is better than what we initially bashed. The power of granting a second chance can be just enough to try to win the respect of others or assure others of our abilities.
People have to be generous and trustworthy to allow for a second chance to be granted. If we are never given a chance to show improvement, so many of us would be in incredible pain and suffering- basically having to do everything the right way the first time. No mortal is ever perfect. Nothing we do is ever done the right way the first time. Having to be perfect or having everything be done right the first time only increases the stress on being perfect. The more we feel like perfection is required, the harder we have to work to try to prove others right about us. Some of us feel like perfection is required. So after trying something for the first time and failing, it only increases our desire for second chances if we are trying to win the respect of others.
Second chances especially play a role in relationships- both among family/friends and among those we are romantic with. Some acts are forgivable, and other acts aren't forgivable at all. Some people can see the goodness in someone's heart in taking back a lover or reconciling with a friend. Second chances with family can be very emotional. Think about a family member who committed an unspeakable act that disrupts a family or lessens one's character. "Forgive and forget" is not as easy in these situations. It may surely be a snowball's chance in Hell for some second chances to be granted. But if there is another chance for us to be better than what we have previously done, we surely want to make the most of these opportunities to help improve our quality of life and strengthen our bonds with others.
--- The Power of Second Chances ---
Some second chances granted help ensure that something is established for the greater good or to help preserve one's life. Here are a few instances where certain second chances can be empowering:
Second Chances: Preserving Lives.
Someone may be in need of some organs or some sort of life-saving surgery. Generous donors or dedicated doctors and surgeons can help to extend peoples' lives. These are second chances that could help provide hope to those who most need them.
Second Chances: Sports Teams and Personnel.
A team is doing poorly, and fans want the coach fired. However, a team may reject the idea of a coach being fired because the players think that coach is just the right person to lead a team to some sort of prominence. Therefore, team chemistry is paramount to help people deal in a rough sports environment. Some people who get second chances in sports may often do much better than when the team was in a funk.
Second Chances: Love and Relationships.
Scorned lovers may note someone being better lovers and better parents (if the couple has children). Who knows what could happen if a second chance is granted as a result of a past action? Two people may be vastly in love, and one person may be doing certain actions that break up a relationship. A lover may cheat on his/her lover with all sorts of infidelity. If granted a second chance, it is because the power of love among a couple is too strong (or just strong enough) to want to stay with that person. It is like admitting someone make someone else complete, and that person couldn't imagine being in love with anyone else. A second chance at love while in a relationship is a chance to rebuild a past love.
The other aspect of second chances may be about falling in love with someone and being in love... until you either get dumped or dump someone. You feel like being in love is overrated and that no one person can truly satisfy you, or you can never truly be satisfied with another person. A second chance at love can help you to realize that there are people out there that care about and love you. You begin to feel happy and whole again when given another chance at love.
Second Chances: Parenting.
When a family member disgraced the family and asks for a second chance, it is usually with the intent of rebuilding a bond with a loved one in the family. I think of daytime talk shows when unruly siblings exhibit stupid and dangerous behavior. Some families and family members are willing to work with siblings to help them be better.
There is also the side of negligent parents who admit they can do better. It can be tough for siblings to consider parents as being worthy of having a second chance based on certain aspects that have ruined family bonds. A parent who is granted or wants a second chance does so to show he/she can be a better parent to his/her sibling(s).
Second Chances: Responsibilities and Tasks.
If you fail a test, do something to get fired/demoted, or anything like that; a second chance can be granted if you feel you can do better. That higher figure has to be generous enough to see great in you and think you can improve. You have to improve, and the higher figure has to see improvement within you to be granted a second chance. Not having such chances means you've failed someone. And when you feel like you've failed people, you lose confidence in yourself and feel like you have created irreversible damage.
These are just some of many things that constitute and encourage what second chances can do for those who most want them.
--- You Have Been Given a Second Chance... Now What? ---
So the first time didn't go well. What do you do if given another chance? For many people, it's simple- don't screw up again. Truly genuine people who are given second chances on life or relationships work to make sure their last fail doesn't come back to haunt them. Truly generous people who offer second chances see a chance of improvement for people who most want that opportunity to improve. You have to put your trust in others if you do offer a second chance to others, and the ones who you've instilled your trust in has to be able to do you right and prove you right.
Make the most of the second chance(s) you are given!
--- Second Chances: Final Thoughts ---
If you are given a second chance at something, or if you offer someone/something a second chance, it is because of the goodness in your heart. No one person or thing will be perfect or do everything right the first time around. Sometimes, we need these moments of weakness to realize that we really can be better than what we eventually do in our lives. Some of us may even be fortunate to get multiple second chances. But if given multiple second chances and continually failing each time, the next best option is to just give up and move on. Why waste your time trying to care about something or trying to see improvement be made from others after offering so many chances?
Make the most of any second chances you are granted. If you can improve and know you can improve, show it. Don't make constant mistake after mistake or play around with others' generosity. Second chances are granted for a reason. Realize what has to change for the better and make sure to make the most of any extra opportunities you are granted, especially if you are working to make things better and to win the respect of others.
What do you think about second chances and giving second chances to others? Feel free to comment. Don't forget to share my blog posts with others if you find them interesting. Help more people to find my blog and its posts. Please do so if you value my work. Also, don't be afraid to show your support of me and my blogging. A few ways to do so can be done below. Thank you for reading! Now can you please support me and my work?
More weight, less love? Can you really love someone less because of their weight or because of one gaining weight? Must we be slim and slender to keep loved ones to continue to love us? Is it even possible to unconditionally love someone who may be overweight, obese, or have a little fat? For some people, gaining weight and being around others leads to an overall lack of being loved. Never mind the good and bad qualities of others. To some- if you're overweight or gaining weight, one of two things could happen: you'll be loved less by others, and you'll probably die quicker. One of the factors of weight gain is depression. You begin to hate yourself more just because you've gained weight and feel terrible often times. The more you try to fight it off, the more you end up feeling more and more depressed; and some people will not like you as much. This ends up being a vicious cycle that leads to you being more disappointed in yourself and feeling unloved. So let me ask again- more weight, less love?
--- Love and Weight ---
How about some individual topics on this matter?
Love and Weight: Friendships and Relationships.
^ from: www.datingish.com, by way of Xanga - Can you love someone less or be less romantic with someone just because of their weight?
Maybe I watch a bit too much daytime TV, but I've seen shows where certain overweight women are cheated on by their men because of the weight women have gained. It is almost like a female is supposed to have a perfect bikini body all the time to remain being loved by others, or a male to be hunky and muscular. It is one thing to complain about someone for being lazy or not being outgoing, but it is really sad how you can not love somebody as much on the merits of being even slightly overweight or having even just a little extra body fat.
Love and Weight: Among Family.
If being talked about your weight is among your family, that is even worse than any other relationship. Your family are usually your closest friends and biggest supporters; and if even they are harming you about your weight, it is absolutely damaging and damning. No worse feeling in the world than feeling like your own family doesn't love you. I've heard of family members who pressure their overweight or obese children to lose weight, sometimes to extreme degrees. The feeling is just a no-win situation. A child or children is/are just going to be screwed for some time.
Love and Weight: Damage in Disguise.
Even worse than heckling someone for their weight is talking about them in a negative way (or a way that is inherently negative). For example- "I love you, but you're getting just a little fat." Someone may take it the wrong way and feel personally disappointed that one's size or weight supersedes one's qualities and personality according to somebody else. You may think you are encouraging someone to look out for their weight more. On the other hand, you may be making one's weight issues feel even worse, leading to him/her becoming even more depressed and unhappy with his/her appearance. I have never told anyone that they should lose weight. The decision to lose weight and the desire to lose weight should be among that one individual- not anyone else. If losing weight helps to get someone to be loved better, then so be it.
So let me go back to the original question I posed...
--- Can One Be Loved Less Because of Weight? ---
Even still, you can't use one's size to determine who should be loved and who should be heckled severely. Making negative references to peoples' weight only brings them down and ruins their confidence. You can't love somebody less for their weight or because of gaining weight. I have known a number of people whom I love and respect even if they aren't slim and slender. You can even read my posts on plus size fashion and on plus size beauties- one's size or weight should have nothing to do with loving someone more or less. There are some who prefer being with heavier people, but a real person can look within one's size/weight and love someone for their inner beauty and inner personality. This is just the sad reality- being heavy means you are loved less. An overweight or obese person still needs love and support each day to prevent from being depressed. Making certain references to weight or size can further depress a person rather than help him/her to lose weight (if he/she wants to lose weight).
Love someone for their personality and charm; not their weight. Hate somebody for whatever reason. Just don't base your like or dislike of someone just on someone's weight.
--- Resources ---
It can be hurtful to have to deal with being unloved just because of size or weight. To help you deal with this, I have found some resources online that might help you cope. Feel free to look at these resources to help better understand the main points expressed in this blog post:
If I find any more resources, I will update this blog post with more material.
What do you think about loving or hating someone- friends, family, lovers, etc.- just because of their weight? Share your mind here and thanks for reading!
Love from others can motivate. Knowing that people and things vastly care about you and for you is as much of motivation as anything else. Imagine someone you love giving you the motivation to carry on. Imagine a parent knowing his/her child(ren) loves and supports him/her all the way through any such task. Think of a parent who feels he/she wants to make his/her child(ren) proud, because he/she knows he/she can never fail his/her child(ren).
If you are fortunate to have special people in your life, you don't need to look very far to get motivation. I was inspired to post this blog entry just thinking about people who get loving support from family, friends, lovers, spouses, and people like that- just to be motivated. I think about married couples whose better half gives one motivation and courage each day. It is a real testament of how powerful love can be. Actually, it was an old episode of "The Bill Cunningham Show" that got me into posting this. One man was morbidly obese, weighing almost 500 lbs. and standing 6'5". He's suffered from depression and certain other setbacks (as well as a poor diet) that has caused him to gain so much weight. These things have caused him to be in such poor shape. But if anything has motivated this guy to lose weight, it was his five children and his devastated wife.
So what makes love such a powerful motivator? The real proof is in knowing that either you care about someone or someone cares about you so much that you feel you can never fail someone. You do not have to feel like you are alone in the world because someone loves you and supports you. I know I usually say I love all of my loyal readers and everyone who feels enlightened from my motivational speaking. However (and with all due respect), there are much more important people in this world than I to offer love and adoration and motivation. I think it's sad if you don't have motivation and love from people close to you.
Someone loves you. Whether it's family, parents, lovers, or whatever; you don't have to look too far for motivation to get through each day as long as you have someone close to you who loves and cares about you. Some people can get through each day knowing someone close loves them. Be thankful and grateful if you are someone who draws inspiration and motivation from loved ones. You must also work to maintain such bonds to ensure everlasting love for some time to come.
Love from others can be a powerful motivator. Do you agree? Thank you for reading!
One of MTV's latest hit reality TV series is "16 and Pregnant." This is a show basically chronicling the lives of teenage girls whom are dealing with being pregnant. It has given me an opportunity to think a bit more critically about some of the issues involving this show. I believe (don't know for sure) "16 and Pregnant" is a spinoff of "Teen Mom." I will be sure to express myself in my own way as I have done for 700+ blog posts here on "John's Blog Space."
NOTE: This blog post pertains to the show "16 and Pregnant" and is not a spinoff of my "Young and Pregnant" blog post.
WARNING: This blog post concerns a subject matter and themes that may not be suitable for all audiences. Read at your own discretion.
--- Young and Pregnant: Retrospective ---
Before I talk about this show, let me offer some brief insight from my past blog post, "Young and Pregnant." These issues will lead up to me eventually talking about MTV's "16 and Pregnant" show.
I think back to The Maury Show in thinking about episodes where teenage girls are hellbent on being pregnant. I think most about one girl (I think her name was Nicole) who was 15 at the time. Her and her boyfriend, Cruz, were reluctant and willing to have their baby. Cruz was even reluctant to get a job at Chuck E. Cheese's to help financially support the baby. Also, I think back to many other teenage girls who were seriously wanting to become mothers at such young ages. Some of them on Maury end up going to Baby Boot Camp. This is where teens reluctant to have children face the harsh reality of being a mother. Many of these wannabe teen moms fail at taking care of babies from other mothers. If you can't take care of one baby from one parent, how can you take care of children that YOU have?
Something else I think back on was back in the 10th Grade, where I met a girl in my P.E. class at Milby High School here in Houston (this was the 1998-1999 school year for me). I talked to her a bit as she was the only pregnant girl in my class. I had to wonder what exercises she could do and things like that. As my high school times were going to Hell, I ended up in alternative school with more girls in my age range that were either pregnant or have given birth. It led me to wonder how girls within the age range of 13 to 18 could even be pregnant. The feeling was mostly surreal knowing how teenage girls can be pregnant and still be in grade school.
The biggest problem is that being pregnant at a young age really takes away from the sort of freedom you have as a young girl. Instead of hanging out with friends or going out to the mall shopping, you have the responsibility of becoming a mother to your child or children. In addition to school, you have to worry about being a parent while also going to school. EXTRA responsibility on your behalf. Why responsibility? Simple- taking care of children is a lifelong process. There is nothing "cute" about having a child. Wanting to be a mother is a serious responsibility that shouldn't be taken carelessly or haphazardly. It isn't like playing with baby dolls. Think about it- you are giving birth to, and having to manage and raise a child. You have to go through nine months while also staying fit and healthy for both yourself and your baby. After that, you will have to realize that being a parent is a lifelong task. Again- NOTHING "cute" about getting pregnant or wanting to have a child.
There are too many responsibilities to take into account, and you have only one precious life (including the one precious life your child/children will have). Making some poor decisions early in your life may haunt you for the rest of your life. Giving birth to and taking care of a child (or children) is not something most teenage girls still in grade school want to deal with. That's why something like being pregnant early in your life is just too much responsibility for a young girl to have. You should be focused more on school and enjoying your youth rather than concern yourself with being a mother, especially at a young age. Don't put extra responsibility on yourself (as well as your parents) by wanting to be a teen mom. Get school out of the way (graduate), THEN worry about marriage and motherhood.
With this out of the way, let's begin the main point of this blog post.
--- "16 and Pregnant" and its Issues ---
^ from: startingrumors.com (best picture I could find) - Being young and pregnant can be tremendously difficult in going through life while also nursing and providing for a baby.
The first question most people (especially older adults) would wonder is why a teen girl between the ages of 13 and 18 even have unprotected sex. Such parents would be furious at their teen daughters for them to be pregnant while still in Middle School or High School. Here are two more issues that I have with this whole deal:
Issue 1: Why Have Sex Before Age 18?
Unprotected sex at a young age will bring almost ANY parent into an uproar. The first order of business is to even envision that a teenage schoolgirl is pregnant. As we grow older, we begin to think about issues that will affect us later in life. One such aspect involves becoming a parent.
Issue 2: Accepting Being Pregnant as a Teenage Girl.
A big reason why this is such a huge issue is the fact that a girl still in Middle and High School should NOT be having children. While that is true, unprotected sex among teenagers still is a gripping issue. Having such unprotected sex lends itself to the possibilities of being pregnant. If the girl somehow gets knocked up, life changes forever, not just for the pregnant teen girl, but also for the possible teenage boy father.
Those are the two primary issues that come to mind for me with this show.
--- Stepping Up ---
It is important that the teen parents and their respective parents will have to step up to take care of a child or children. Accepting responsibility and living up to responsibility are both key elements in being successful as teen parents. Some parents are understanding and want to help their daughter make the parenting process a bit easier. Some, however, will only offer so much or hardly any support. Stepping up being parents is a responsibility for not only the teen daughter, but also the father of the child (or children).
--- A Harsh Reminder ---
Of all the themes involving teen pregnancy and having sex, it goes to show the potential aftershock of trying to randomly having unprotected sex with as multiple females as possible. It may sound cool for guys to basically have sex with whatever females they want and with as many as they want, but you run the risk of possibly getting someone else pregnant. That scorned female may want to go after you in Maury fashion by pinning a baby or babies on you. Especially if you are with some girl and you have sex with another woman, you may end up having to accept responsibility in being a father figure to a love child.
Don't have unprotected sex with others without considering the consequences of engaging in intercourse. Think ahead to prevent any future problems from occurring or arising. You have the decision to NOT have unprotected sex with a female as much as you have a choice to have unprotected sex with a female.
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